Criticizing yourself relentlessly can be healthy – but it can also get in the way of your own satisfaction. Just a thought can help us get on the right track.
That fold of fat on my stomach. The many moles on the arms. And the gap between the front teeth – terrible! Or that stupid habit of playing with your hair when you’re nervous. And always turning bright red in embarrassing situations. Just terrible! Sound familiar?
We probably all have things that we can’t stand about ourselves. And being able to realistically assess ourselves – with our strengths and weaknesses – at least protects us from becoming completely isolated and sinking into ego frenzy. Emphasis on: realistic. Because we are often particularly critical when it comes to ourselves – and this prevents us from loving ourselves. This should be the basic requirement before we fall in love with someone else, for example!
Mental trick to learn self-love
But a mental trick can help us when we judge ourselves particularly harshly. A sentence that we would best repeat to ourselves every day, or perhaps even hang on a post-it note on the bathroom mirror. It reads:
Treat yourself the way you treat the people you care about most.
That means: If your best friend complains about the “fat line” on her stomach – wouldn’t you tell her that she is just as beautiful as she is? And that you prefer her like that, confidently eating a piece of cake, than grumbling over a lettuce leaf in a bad mood?
If your sister complains about her gap in her teeth, wouldn’t you tell her that her big smile is endearing and her laugh is contagious, and that it would be incredibly sad if she were ashamed of it? Or if your little brother was angry at himself for whatever habit he was uncomfortable with, wouldn’t you offer him help and support instead of laughing at him for it?
Speak to yourself as you would a friend
Whenever we drift into our “glass is half empty and I’m stupid” mode, we should remember the above sentence – and treat ourselves as we would our closest friends. In other words: If scolding or remorse is called for, then go ahead. But if praise, encouraging or encouraging words are needed, we shouldn’t be stingy with them either. And let the voice speak to ourselves that we would also wish our loved ones to have in this situation.