psychology
This mistake in thinking prevents many people from letting go – you too?
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You don’t give up? Very honorable. However, this attitude could also be your biggest problem at times.
A project in which we have invested a lot. A friendship that once meant something to us. And of course the classic: A relationship we believed would last a lifetime. You don’t just let go of things like that, not even if they cost us more energy than we have available (or if they are worth …).
That would be timely letting gooften wise and best for everyone involved. And most of them actually know that too – from looking at others or looking back at their own lives. Because although we sometimes have to push, persevere, work on ourselves and clench our teeth: Nothing in life should be a constant struggle!
Problem: In addition to such fuss as our memories, habits and feelings, which of course play a major role in relationships, it is what hinders us above all else a mistake in our thinking and our attitude towards letting go of people, things or the meaning of life at the right moment: That we mistake letting go for failure!
This is why so many think letting go is failure
Regardless of whether it is interpersonal, professional or dieting: When we stop doing something before we have achieved our goal, we often convince ourselves that we have failed and failed.
- Separated from your partner before the wedding? Relationship failed!
- Divorce? Oh no, marriage failed!
- Project stopped after it did not bring the desired success? Failed all along the line!
- Just lost a few pounds, but not reached your ideal weight? Was probably nothing with the diet.
In the area of partnership, it is relatively clear where that comes from: in films, series, books or even the biographies of our parents and grandparents – almost Everywhere we are shown that true love lasts a lifetime and truly happy relationships are unshakable. But, is this really the truth? We can hardly say! After all, we have the situation that two people have decided to be together out of pure emotional connection and free will, only for maybe 40 to 50 years. We don’t even know which relationship models and duration people would choose if they were unbiased – and whether the same ones are suitable for all.
A mixture of social character and inner demands at least leads to the same fatal behavior in most areas of life: That we vto hold on to things and put our strength into a lost positioninstead of giving up on these things, ticking them off, letting go and devoting ourselves to new things.
Letting go is a reason to be proud
It is true that in life we are rarely given free gifts and it is worth investing energy in a lot – but not as a matter of principle and certainly not at any cost! If z. For example, a relationship has come to an end and only hurts, a project cannot be implemented or it turns out that the diet limits the quality of life Letting go is not a failure, on the contrary: a decision to be proud of!
Because despite the feelings involved and even though you are right in the middle of it, you have come to the insight that you should better let it be. That he Has gained experience and learned, and has become stronger and more mature through the attempt. After all, that’s what life is about, not success. It is neither defined as permanent nor by someone who knows all about it, but as a cultural-traditional construct often only brings a temporary kick of luck.
Always remember: Even if we may not get a lot for free in life – life in itself is a gift. And we shouldn’t let anyone or anything spoil it. Especially not in order to meet ideas and demands that no one can really convincingly explain to us.
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