relationship killer
Attention: These 8 thoughts poison love
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Do you mainly see the good or the bad in your partner? You can see that in the way you think about your partner.
where is my love Almost everyone in a relationship asks this question from time to time. In Psychology Today, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein recommends analyzing your own thoughts about your partner to find out what might be straining your partner.
Do you also know these “poisonous” thoughts? Alarm bells should ring if you see the following signs:
1. Black or White
Does your:your partner:in always do EVERYTHING wrong or EVERYTHING right in your thoughts? Is there rarely an in between?
2. Disasters and excesses
Do you quickly judge the things that the partner does wrong as a catastrophe? Even with small things, for example when proceeding in the city?
3. The “you should know that” trap
Are you easily offended because your partner doesn’t recognize what’s going on inside you? Even if you don’t say so explicitly?
4. The “you are like that” label
Do you often think of your partner as “uninterested,” “mean,” or “unreliable,” but rarely as “humorous,” “resourceful,” or “observant”? Do the negative descriptions outweigh the positive ones?
5. The “it’s your fault” accusation
With this thought, you make your partner responsible for the things you struggle with in life. “It’s your fault that I can’t go to work anymore.” or “I can’t do XY anymore because of you.”
6. The overreaction
Do you catch yourself thinking unrealistic thoughts like, “He’s late. It’s probably because he’s cheating”?
7. The wrong head cinema
Here one assumes something bad, especially when the partner is actually good to one. “I’m sure he’s only being nice to me because he wants to go out with his boys at the weekend.”
8. The Disillusionment Trap
If you had too high expectations at the beginning of a relationship, you can be disappointed later. Then thoughts like: “Of course, she only lives for her job.”