There for everyone, just never for you? You should pay attention to these three warning signs
He always sacrifices himself for other people and is celebrated for it – but when it comes to you, does he just give you the cold shoulder? There’s a good chance you’re dealing with a “reverse” narcissist.
He’s such a nice guy. devoted. Helpful. Really always listening to everyone around him. So … for almost everyone. Because he treats his partners rather annoyed, at best indifferently. Look familiar? Then you may have made the acquaintance of a “reverse” narcissist.
“Reverse” narcissism – what is it actually?
A narcissist sees only themselves as the center of the universe and will do anything to manipulate the world to their advantage, regardless of feelings or opposition. The “reverse” narcissist, on the other hand, seems only interested in the well-being of those around him, for whom he always gives his full effort. But appearances are deceptive: This narcissist also ruthlessly pursues his own interests. It just looks a lot nicer from the outside when he does. He doesn’t really want to help other people as much as he wants to be celebrated and admired afterwards for his commitment. That’s why it’s also important to him to make his assignment as public as possible and to present it again afterwards on social media with false modesty.
Narcissism remains narcissism: pure relationship poison
At first glance, of course, it might not matter what his motivation is for doing good, as long as he actually helps people in need. In truth, however, the techniques that the “reverse” narcissist uses to deceive, manipulate, and pressure are the same as those used by a classic narcissist. The self-affirmation that he experiences through the applause from outside is more important to him than anything else in life. In his perception, his partner already “belongs” to him and therefore has nothing more to offer. If they start to have different opinions or even argue with him, he completely shuts down. After all, he is perfect, all people agree – so any word that differs from his opinion is simply wrong and irrelevant. And anyway: How can the needs of Partner:in be more important than the acute emergency of a colleague who urgently needs help moving?
New packaging, same control freak
If you are in a relationship with such a person, it is doubly difficult – who would ever part with such a “nice” guy who seems so sweet and perfect? Those affected often not only reap a lack of understanding from those around them, they also question their own feelings – and end up exactly where the narcissist wanted them to be. Before you too waste precious years of your life with a relationship from which you silently suffer: In the video you can see three warning signs that you are dealing with a “reverse” narcissist.
Source used: Psychology Today