There for everyone, but never for you? There are three warning signs to look out for
He always sacrifices himself for other people and is celebrated for it – but when it comes to you, does he just give the cold shoulder? Chances are you’re dealing with a “reverse” narcissist.
He’s such a nice guy. Devoted. Helpful. Always an open ear for everyone around him. So … for almost everyone. Because he treats his partners annoyed, at best indifferently. Look familiar to you? Then you may have made the acquaintance of an “inverted” narcissist.
“Reverse” Narcissism – What Is It Anyway?
A narcissist just sees himself as the center of the universe and does everything possible to manipulate the world to his advantage, regardless of feelings or resistance. The “reverse” narcissist, on the other hand, only seems to be interested in the well-being of his fellow human beings, for whom he always gives full commitment. But appearances are deceptive: this narcissist also ruthlessly pursues his own interests. It just looks a lot nicer from the outside when he does. He doesn’t really want to help other people, but rather to be celebrated and admired for his commitment afterwards. That is why it is also important to him to make his mission as public as possible and to present it again afterwards on social media with false modesty.
Narcissism remains narcissism: Pure relationship poison
At first glance, of course, it might not matter what motivation he is doing good, as long as he is actually helping people in an emergency. In truth, however, the techniques used by the “reverse” narcissist to deceive, manipulate, and exert pressure are t the same as those used by a classic narcissist. The self-affirmation that he experiences from outside applause is more important to him than anything else in life. Partner already “belongs” to him in his perception and therefore has nothing more to offer. If they start to disagree or even argue with him, he turns off completely. After all, he is perfect, everyone agrees – consequently, any word that differs from his opinion is simply wrong and irrelevant. And anyway: How can the needs of partner: be more important than the acute emergency of a colleague who urgently needs help with the move?
New packaging, same control freak
If you are in a relationship with such a person, it is twice as difficult – who would ever part with such a “nice” guy who seems so sweet and perfect? Often those affected not only reap incomprehension from their surroundings, they also question their own feelings – and end up exactly where the narcissist wanted them. Before you too waste precious years of life in a relationship from which you suffer silently: In the video you see three warning signs that you are dealing with a “reverse” narcissist.
Source used: Psychology Today