Not all friendships are the same. Two people sharing a friendship can indeed develop their relationship to the point where it serves as a romantic friendship. While it is possible that this type of relationship never ends in a couple situation, leaving this close bond to exist without further commitment, it happens that a real story is woven. How can we recognize such a relationship that has evolved over time? Valérie Grumelin, psychologist, gives us ideas and presents different scenarios.
Romantic friendship: the signs that don’t deceive
Between friendship and love, there is sometimes only one step. The bonds you have with a person, made of trust and complicity, sometimes give way to something stronger, like romantic feelings. Whether or not this situation may be reciprocal, certain signs are unmistakable. Generally, they are the same as in the first moments between two people who did not share a friendship and fell directly in love. The other occupies all your thoughts, you want to please them, your eyes meet and are pressed, you feel jealousy… In such circumstances, it is a safe bet that the relationship is no longer what it was and that the friendship evolves.
But are all romantic feelings destined to give rise to something more? It happens that certain friendships tend towards a romantic situation without ever evolving, either because one of the two people is not interested, or because no one ever takes the plunge. “At the beginning, when you meet someone, you don’t tell yourself that it will become a romantic friendship. One day we think something will happen, but it doesn’t, and we stay like that“, explains Valérie Grumelin.
The place of desire
However, another form of romantic friendship can emerge that does not involve real desire for the other. Called “platonic love”, it corresponds to a deep and close bond. “It’s like friendly evidence. We feel great as if we were with our soul mate. We understand each other well, we know each other well, but we have no attraction for each other“, explains the psychologist, who reminds us that it is possible to get along well without experiencing sexual desire.
When sexual relations occur, different scenarios arise. This romantic friendship can initially be without commitment. “We don’t see ourselves completely with the other, it’s rather free. I see very often that in this type of relationship one of the two hoped for more before they continued on this path“, adds our expert. And it can also, conversely, involve commitment over time and thus give rise to a couple. All romantic friendships therefore do not unfold in the same way and each one varies depending on the circumstances. people involved and their desires. It remains to be seen in what context you would be ready to reveal your feelings.