“The closer I get to God, the happier I become,” says Nick, beaming. “Now I’m looking for his closeness and just want to serve him.”
Nick is 21 years young, has a dark curly head and lots of energy. He is currently visiting Einsiedeln Abbey for a weekend, together with seven other young men. They are all interested in monastic life and are toying with the idea of joining a religious order.
Legend:
Einsiedeln Abbey: a day trip for many tourists, for some men a place where they find their purpose and stay for the rest of their lives.
Keystone / ALEXANDRA WEY
What they have in common is a deep faith and a desire to dedicate one’s life to God in one way or another. They’re trying to find out how this weekend. The young men come from Switzerland, Germany and Austria.
Not everyone wants to publicly express their thoughts about life in the monastery. Lukas, a German career soldier, Matthias, a designer from Austria and Wuschelkopf Nick are ready to talk about their wishes, hopes and doubts. But only if they don’t have to give their last name.
“God was my best friend”
“I’m so happy,” says Nick, “I always have energy. And if I ever get stuck, I pray to God and look for answers, knowing that God is behind me.” And usually there is a solution within a short time, says Nick. His motto: Trust and go full throttle.
That’s not a matter of course. Nick had a difficult childhood, meanwhile grew up in a home for problem children. «God was my best friend, my only interlocutor. He listened to me. I felt it and that helped me.”
Convent life would be a way for Nick to be close to God. But he also has doubts. “I want to make a difference in my life, to change the lives of others for the better,” says Nick.
He asks himself whether he has enough influence as a monk or religious and whether he fits into the monastery. “Maybe I’m still too jittery.”
A precious life beyond death
Lukas, the professional soldier, is a few years older than Nick and very clear – in his demeanor and in his statements. “When the day comes, I want to be able to look back on my life and say: I did something that has value beyond life.”
For Luke it is clear: God has a plan. “I’ve just never figured out where he wants me.” Entry into a monastery or a religious order is an option.
But Lukas wonders whether as a monk he could be there for his family, his parents and siblings. “I would have to put everyone I care about in the hands of God and distance myself. That is a challenge.”
“I can’t do it alone”
While Lukas and Nick are still looking for the right way, Matthias has already made his decision. The Constructor wants to be a priest or religious, but is more drawn to a religious order for the community. Because he believes: “I can’t do it alone.”
Although Matthias is sure that he wants to dedicate his life to God, he too has his doubts. “Am I perhaps making a wrong decision that I will regret? Am I eligible? Do I get tasks in the order that overwhelm me? Can I stand living in the Order for life?”
Life with God but without sex
Matthias, Nick and Lukas have a lot of thoughts and question their desire to move into a monastery. But they don’t touch on one topic of their own accord: celibacy. “I haven’t really thought about it that much,” says Nick, who likes to party.
Matthias, on the other hand, does: “I feel good about the thought of a life without sex,” says Matthias. “A few years ago I realized that being in a relationship wasn’t my path.”
Desires and longings remain.
Lukas also believes that he could do without sex. “Celibacy has a very bad reputation these days,” he says. It’s not that different from a marriage. “Even in a marriage I choose a woman and then I can’t sleep with everyone else.”
But you don’t have to give up sex completely in marriage. “That’s true,” says Luke. But he is convinced: “Whoever examines his conscience and has God’s blessing for celibate life can do it.”
A decision for life
Is it that simple? Yes, Father Thomas says. The hermit monk organized the weekend for those interested in the monastery. Father Thomas, now in his late 30s, became a monk in his mid-20s. «Whoever thinks that when one enters the monastery all needs disappear, one is mistaken. The desire, the yearning remain.»
It has to be dealt with honestly. But Father Thomas emphasizes that one does not have to do without intimate relationships in the monastery. «A person with whom I go through life – share my sorrows and joys. I find that in the monastery too.”
Father Thomas has written a book with a confrere, a kind of guide to religious life. The thoughts that Matthias, Nick and Lukas had were typical, he says.
Foremost among most would be the question: Can I commit to eternity today? Anyone entering a monastery or religious order usually has a kind of probationary period. Then you swear an oath for life.
A dying species
Is that still up to date? The numbers say no. According to the latest statistics, there are five novices and eight novices or sisters in Switzerland who have not yet taken an eternal oath for monastic or religious life, and the trend is falling.
And yet Father Thomas is convinced that there are no fewer people today than in the past who feel a vocation for religious life. “But the circumstances make it difficult for them to find out where the diffuse longing for more could lead.”
The hermit monk believes that there were no models for a spiritual life. And the leisure to recognize the vocation at all.
nun, by accident
Sister Deborah found her calling, albeit more by accident. The 31-year-old from Solothurn is a novice in the Cazis monastery. So during the probationary period. She entered the convent two years ago.
Legend:
“As if I were coming home”: The Cazis monastery in the canton of Graubünden has become the new home of 27-year-old Deborah – surprising even for her.
Wikimedia / Adrian Michael
The appointment came as quite a surprise to her. “Until four years ago, I didn’t give the monastery any thought,” she says. Debbie, as her friends and family called her, studied computer science and played electric guitar. In her spare time she went to rock festivals.
But then suddenly nothing worked. “I was just tired, failed all the tests,” she recalls. The diagnosis: iron deficiency. Her doctor advised time off and a friend took her to the Cazis Monastery, which offers guest rooms.
I hope I won’t be the only one someday.
“When I entered the chapel for the first time, it was like coming home.” She later recalled having seen the chapel in a dream as a child.
Deborah quickly registered for a three-week trial stay in the convent and after that the decision was made: She wanted to become a nun at the age of 27.
“Why are you throwing your life away?”
To be sure, she gave herself a year. Friends and family initially reacted with incomprehension. “My family is pretty shocked. Today they support me.”
The circle of friends is different. “My friends are atheists. They couldn’t understand my decision.” Why are you throwing your life away, they asked Deborah, albeit not so directly. “Anyone who is not a believer simply cannot understand such a step,” believes Sister Deborah.
Despite the lack of understanding in those closest to her, Deborah was undeterred and has now been living in the monastery for more than two years. The biggest challenge is living in the community, close together, with over 40 other women that she didn’t choose.
But this community is also very enriching. “We are on the road together, I can draw from a wealth of experience,” says Sister Deborah.
Trust in God instead of worrying about the future
What Deborah describes here as a “treasure of experience” means in concrete terms: most of the nuns in the Cazis monastery are of retirement age. There are some nuns in their forties and fifties living in the convent, and a fellow novice is in her late 20s. “That’s great, especially when it comes to sports and making music.”
But the monastery is outdated, like so many others in Switzerland. Doesn’t the young nun worry about her future in a community made up of many elderly women and few young women? “I hope I don’t end up being the only one,” says Deborah.
She doesn’t want to waste too much thought on it. “It’s useless,” she says. Sister Deborah hopes that more young women will find their way into the convent. “But above all, I hope that every person finds fulfillment – whether in the monastery or elsewhere.”