Are you going through a difficult time and want to save your marriage? We will show you what you should pay attention to now and how you can overcome a marriage crisis together.
The Relationship life doesn’t always happen on a pink cloud. Circumstances, decisions and fate often bring lovers to their knees. Sometimes it’s easy to get back on your feet, other times it’s so hard that getting up feels like an insurmountable task.
Perhaps your marriage has been struggling for some time and you have tried to resolve the problem in your own way. But at some point everyone reaches their limits, doubts about the relationship or considering a breakup or divorce.
But since you are tempted, your save marriage, Do you see hope for them, and that is the crucial point. You haven’t given it up yet, and that power can move mountains – if you know how.
The following lines are for you hope and strength give to save your marriage because it is possible. We answer the most important questions and give you ten helpful and honest tips at hand as you like yours Saving marriage step by step can and help her back on her feet. Because a marriage crisis does not automatically mean the end of your relationship.
Saving marriage: You should know that beforehand
The fact that you landed on this article and not one about divorce and separation shows that you believe in a change in your marriage. You need this energy to get through the following weeks, months or even years and not to give up. Because saving a marriage will cost a lot of energy. But you are strong enough.
You will use your power to conversations to lead that are uncomfortable. you will you criticism listen to about you that gets to your kidneys and you still feel better and closer to your partner afterwards. It’s getting busy communication go because just through open exchange, honest feelings and boundaries you will grow together – and save your marriage.
10 honest tips to save your marriage
The following tips are not the ultimate 10-point plan to save every marriage. Each couple has a different relationship with each other and works through different problems. Our tips start at the root and, in the best case, ensure that a healthy base the leaves and flowers grow back vigorously and colorfully.
- Reserve time for two: After a while, couples tend to live next to each other. Everyday life merges into a unified mass, and working from home doesn’t make it any easier to see the highlights of a relationship. If you find yourself constantly traveling side by side like two trains but never meeting, regular and conscious time together could help save your relationship. This “date time” is particularly important in a marriage with children so that you don’t lose touch emotionally. You don’t have to visit an expensive restaurant every week for this, it’s enough to take a long walk while leaving your smartphone at home, an undisturbed evening at home without distractions or, if possible, a day trip. During this time you can talk to each other in peace or, if necessary, learn to exchange ideas about your inner world and your relationship. Give yourself your full attention.
- Talk about feelings: Following on from this, speaking about feelings should not be neglected. In a marriage, of course, people still talk to each other, but what exactly? Mostly it concerns organizational matters, when and by whom the children are picked up from the sport, what is for dinner or who quickly pays the bill that has been lying on the mail pile for several weeks. There is hardly any room for feelings, emotions and the world in each individual with the many to-dos nowadays. The psychologist Michael Lukas Möller has found a great way to do this: the dialogue. Couples reserve a fixed appointment a week, no longer than 60 minutes. During this time they are undisturbed and only talk about themselves and their emotional world. What moved them in the last week, what they felt, what preoccupied them. You draw a self-portrait of the interior. Questions, comments and interruptions are prohibited. The other person just listens.
- Respect yourselves: Mutual respect should be a matter of course. But some couples lose respect for each other for various reasons. No matter what quirks your partner has, what mistakes he/she has already made or whether you have different opinions – always treat each other with respect if you want to save your marriage. If the respect decreases unilaterally, it must be addressed. Only with mutual respect can a marriage exist and grow.
- Get to know each other: We have it already mentioned, over time the lives of the spouses run: inside parallel to one another and yet not together. They don’t talk to each other much anymore because they think that they know each other after so many years of relationship and that they can’t find out anything new about the other person. But every person continues to develop in all phases, learn new things and expand their horizons. Ask your partner: in questions that you think you already know the answer to. We promise you: It will surprise you and in most cases it will be different from what you thought it would be. Even after several years of marriage, be open and curious about each other. This new perspective can save your marriage and rekindle your love in the long run.
- See yourself as two individuals: Sometimes moving away from each other can save the marriage. This doesn’t mean spatial separation, but the understanding that you are two individuals who don’t have to spend every minute together for the rest of your life. A new hobby of an individual, a fixed and regular appointment with friends and travel separate you from each other at first, but bring you closer together in the long run. Maybe your marriage has fallen asleep because you spend too much time together that you don’t enjoy. See yourselves as two individuals with different interests, hobbies, and friends, and don’t be afraid to not always spend your time together. Of course only if you want to! You don’t necessarily have to separate. But some couples need such a nudge.
- Look to the future together: If you in thelook to the future, what do you see? Do you have plans for the next few years? Are you striving for a heart project that you want to implement and does your partner know about it? Can you perhaps inspire him or her with your project so that you can tackle it together? Or does your spouse’s plan for the future give you completely new ideas? It’s always nice to work towards a project together in the future, be it a weekend getaway, a big trip to the island you wanted to visit when you were a student, or adopting a dog. Talk about the future together and exchange your ideas.
- forgive yourself: The desire to save your marriage may be at the root of a mistake, major argument, or misstep. Whatever it is, if you have decided not to leave your partner, it is even more important to forgive him or her. It doesn’t have to happen immediately and at the push of a button, the road to forgiveness is long. However, refrain from repeatedly using this misstep against him or her in disputes. That doesn’t help you or him/her with the processing. If there are problems, also exchange ideas here and try to find a solution and set boundaries.
- Give yourself enough time: Saving a marriage takes time. Depending on the depth of the problem on which it is based. It is important to heed as many tips as possible and to integrate them into everyday life in the long term. One long conversation won’t save a marriage, but the more conversations you have, the closer you’ll get to your goal. Almost every crisis can be overcome, it just takes time and work.
- Consider professional help: If all the advice doesn’t help, couple therapists could accompany you on your way. Talk to each other about this possibility and whether it is an option for you. Both parties should be able to engage in couples therapy. It’s no use dragging your partner to therapy if they don’t want to.
- Talk about a possible breakup: All alarm bells are probably ringing for you now. What does it trigger in you when you think about a divorce? How does your partner react to this sensitive topic? What would be your reasons for divorce? If you quickly realize that divorce or separation is not an option for you right now, you have learned something. Made a decision together that saving the marriage will be worth it. With this feeling, you can work on your relationship or start couples therapy.
How do I save my marriage after an affair?
After a fling it has to trust in the partnership to be rebuilt. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. It is important to speak openly and honestly with each other again. Why did you have an affair? Were wishes and needs not satisfied? The answer to these questions are no excuses for a fling, but maybe make sure it doesn’t happen again. After such breach of trust In most cases it is helpful to turn to couple therapists to find each other again and to forgive.
When can marriage no longer be saved?
Are you unhappy in marriage? It takes a lot of energy and confidence to save your marriage. The tiniest glimmer of hope for your relationship and family opens up the possibility of finding each other again. Is this optimistic look However, if it is not available or if a partner refuses, the chances of saving the marriage diminish. In this case, going to marriage counseling can save your love and marriage.
Whatever point you are at at the moment, staying on the ball and always looking optimistically into the future of your partnership makes you stronger every minute. If you have children, use their sincere love. And if you notice that the tips aren’t really helping you and that you’re not having any success with couples therapy either, you can happy separation be a way out.
End a relationship instead of saving a marriage
There are circumstances and reasons for ending the marriage rather than saving it. This includes any form of violence, be it psychological, emotional or physical in nature and recurring toxic behavior. When your mental and physical health is suffering from the relationship, you should always put your wellbeing first. If your partner changes: in not after several conversations, instead of saving the marriage, you should rather go through one separationthink.
You might also be interested in these relationship topics: What is a silent treatment? How do you recognize a symbiotic relationship and what is soul love about?
Sources used: The truth begins in twos; Michael Luke Moeller; 33rd edition, scheide.de, Ehe.de