Whether at work, in a partnership, raising children or in friendships – with this skill you can help your success.
Success is subjective and very individual. For some, being successful means advancing in the job and getting a leadership position. For others it means to have a stable partnership or to see a lot of the world. And for some, success has something to do with popularity. But no matter what we think in detail when we hear the word "success", we usually associate it with the fact that something is going well and we are making progress – and one ability can be of great advantage: listening!
Listening is not a matter of course
Listening is not as easy and widespread as you might think. "We never actually learned to listen properly," says career coach and book author Anja Niekerken in an interview with "Ze.tt". "Even in private conversations, we can always observe that basically everyone just wants to spread their own message." While the other person is talking, many people think about what they could say next instead of really listening. Or are just waiting for a signal where they can speak. There are also distractions from cell phones, noise and the like.
In some cases, however, people do not want to listen to others at all because it is too tiring for them: consider an additional perspective, take into account information that you would never have received without listening, and under certain circumstances also respond to the other person – admittedly, that is quite annoying !
That is why listening is a key to success
But it is precisely these efforts that are worthwhile, because everything we gain by listening gives us advantages and helps us to succeed. After all, we can assess situations much better if we look at them from different perspectives (which is obviously much easier in a team than it is alone!). After all, others have information for us that is relevant and can help us move forward. Finally, we strengthen our relationships and relationships of trust by responding to others. They also feel respected when we listen carefully and, in return, show us greater respect. "A person's self-esteem increases when one listens seriously. And people with a healthy self-esteem treat others with much more appreciation," said Anja Niekerken in the "Ze.tt" interview.
Real listening establishes a respectful togetherness in which everyone benefits from each other and we move forward together and are maximally successful – reason enough to give it a try!
You can find out more about listening in Anja Niekerken's book "The secret of proper listening", published by Springer Verlag. And if you want to practice listening to it directly: check out our community.