The Self-Determination Act has been passed. In this form, however, it does little to change the fact that others are still judging the gender of third parties.
The people I want to speak for in this text have so often had to let others speak for them. Some of them have struggled since childhood when their identity is denied. From her parents, her family, her friends, complete strangers, the state.
That’s why it’s important for me to be clear: I’m a queer cis man who means I’m not straight and identify with the gender that medical staff assigned me based on my external genitals shortly after birth. Ergo: I am not trans, inter or non-binary. However, as the spouse of a non-binary person (a person who does not identify with their assigned gender), I am at least emotionally more involved than perhaps many other loud voices who have spoken and have spoken about the Self-Determination Act that passed on Wednesday, August 23rd 2023, was passed by the Federal Cabinet.
As an empathic person, I am involved anyway – as we all should be.
The Self-Determination Act: What has now been passed
Of course, it was not to be expected that the day the self-determination law was passed in Germany would become a national holiday, that people would take to the streets, hug one another and peace and happiness would because we are one step further in not discriminating too much against people in this country.
Because neither is the law of self-determination new in the world – in Argentina, among others, there has been a law of this kind for over ten years and the country hasn’t collapsed or en masse horny men have changed their gender record to gawk at women in saunas – nor is the present one Draft free from new discrimination loopholes.
In some respects, the content of the law is long overdue. The fact that the transsexual law of 1981, which until 2011 stipulated that trans people had to be sterilized (!), was able to last for such a long time casts a very bleak picture of this country. Now it should be easier for trans, inter and non-binary people to have their gender entry and their first name changed. What previously demeaning questionnaires (“Wwhy do you actually masturbate? And what are you wearing for underwear?” Just two of the questions from the sheet), expert opinion and a lot of money, should now be settled with a declaration to the registry office. Nice!
What’s also beautiful is what that can mean for an individual, and that’s where empathy comes into play. Because gender identity is one thing: a human being feels she. And it doesn’t matter what this person looks like, what they wear, how they sound or how they move. Or how other people think about it. And, of course, a person can feel as medical personnel assigned them to be at birth.
But what happens to a person who does not feel that they belong to their assigned gender? What role does she play in this society? One is quite clear: that of the justifiers, of the explainers. Unfortunately, she often plays them in the course of life: she will explain and justify herself to her parents, to her friends, the extended family, colleagues and superiors.
And if she isn’t already exhausted and listless after all these explanations and justifications, then she still has to gather all her strength and explain to the state: “No, the penis hanging down on me doesn’t determine my identity. I determine my identity.” And the state answered for a long time: “No. I.”
What does the gender entry concern the state?
The Self-Determination Act should finally put a stop to this. “Men, women and various people have equal rights, so what does the state have to do with gender registration?” is a very valid question posed by non-binary person Jj Link (pronounced “Jay-Jay”) in an interview with BRIGITTE already thrown into the room in 2022. Yes, what actually?
But where the state is now stepping back on this issue, it is only making room for others to determine gender and identity. In other words: he doesn’t take it completely, after all, in the course of the application for a name or gender change, information from the registration office to various authorities is now necessary. Among others: Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution, Federal Police, State Criminal Police Offices and the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees. These criminal trans people obviously use the gender entry as a way to avoid justice.
Even if the data is deleted if there are no previous entries of the person with the respective authorities, the message that resonates is a questionable one. Are such information also sent to all these authorities at the time of marriage? You change the name there…
The miserable sauna debate and missing the core problem
But the criminalization of trans and other queer people goes further (and is nothing new historically anyway). Because we still have the sauna theme. Clearly, sexual harassment is a criminal offense and a sad part of everyday life for many women. But if you look at the focus on the sauna debate, you might think that it is the source of all evil when it comes to the issue of sexual violence against women. It is not so. Once clear: According to figures from Federal Office for Family and Civil Society Tasks every third woman is affected by sexual and/or physical violence, a quarter of them (25 percent) in a relationship.
And whoever argues that a man has to change his gender entry in order to ogle at women or sexually harass them … sorry, but such a person is either extremely naive or should be highly critical of their own ability to debate such ridiculous arguments. A friend recently told me how she caught a man in the park watching her masturbating. Not for the first time, mind you.
Meint: Unfortunately, it is a fact that men can and do sexually harass women anywhere. You don’t have to go to the registry office for that, you just have to go to the park. Last but not least, the Self-Determination Act is not intended for such people, but for those who feel the pressure of suffering because they cannot live their own identity. The mere threat of individuals taking advantage of the law must not lead to the general suspicion of the majority, who would benefit so much from the law.
The debate thus misses the core of the problem: that women are not safe in our society. But they aren’t trans people either. “Actually, this is about managing a shortage,” Jj explains the problem in the interview at the time. Playing off the interests of trans women who have experienced violence against the interests of cis women or lesbian women who have experienced violence is not the solution or should be the goal, Jj continued.
In the end, the common problem of all these people is that we live in a society in which different groups do not feel safe and not that these groups exist.
And that is exactly what is not considered. According to the draft law, access to facilities and rooms as well as participation in events will continue to be determined by the owners. In case of doubt, this also means that a trans woman who, for example, “does not look feminine enough” may be prevented from using the women’s toilet. Or the locker room. Or the sauna that so many obviously love so much.
This means that the trans person is not only discriminated against, but also exposed to other dangers – for example that they experience violence in the men’s toilet. And that is simply accepted, even with the new law.
What it should actually be about
Gender is complex—whether we’re talking about the “biological,” which goes well beyond the man-made binary of male and female—or the social. Gender is part of one’s identity, for some more, for some less. There are people who completely reject the term and everything connected with it. And when we look at the whole mess that “gender” has thrown at our society for centuries, who can blame them? And there are people who classify themselves in the binary system. Some of them as society expects (cis woman or cis man) or not (trans woman or trans man).
And now one can perhaps claim that all the labels are a “fad” – but identity is not. When adolescents multiplies than trans designate, then certainly not because it’s straight in vogue is to be trans, but possibly because they even see the opportunity to do so. If the state doesn’t force them to be sterilized, maybe confronting their own gender identity and questioning man-made borders and restrictions is no longer so scary?
The Basic Law protects the right to sexual self-determination. Point. The self-determination law is a logical and long overdue consequence. But even if there is some self-determination (probably only from November 2024): Even with this law, other people are still deciding about people like my spouse, what gender they have and which places and events they can go to – and which not.
The grossest blunders can still be erased from the law, nor is there hope that the biggest pitfalls of discrimination will be remedied. But looking at the debate, at the “arguments” of those who demonize the Self-Determination Act and everything it means, it becomes clear: This is about “us” and the “others”, this is about who is “right” and who is “wrong”, “sick”, “disturbed” or “confused”. Here the identity of others is decided, judged – and if one could, one would deny it completely and officially.
To all trans, inter and non-binary people who now have to look with ambivalence at a law that once sounded so promising: I’m sorry, you deserve better. Maybe you can still get it.
Sources used: bmfsfj.de, queer.de, bmj.de, nd-aktuell.de, zeit.de, hilfetelefon.de, www1.wdr.de, zdf.de