Self-optimization below: practicing for the orgasm?

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Self-optimization below: practicing for the orgasm?

Love life! You know I’m a big proponent of climaxes of all kinds. And I agree with you that a functional pelvic floor cannot be overestimated and appreciated. But currently I feel sexually harassed by an oversupply of courses and books that offensively suggest women to work their way up to sleep: “Become a sex goddess!” Wow. Can you go one size smaller, please? And less time consuming? According to the bestseller “Coming soon. Orgasm is a matter of practice – 10 steps to vaginal climax” by sexologist Dania Schiftan, women should finger themselves clockwise every day for months to uncover their personal hotspots like scratch cards in the big orgasm lottery. Mainly so that it finally doesn’t come up short or not at all due to the common penis-in-vagina penetrationas is statistically unfortunately still the case in two thirds of the cases.

Other current textbooks on the market are called “The Super-Orgasm”, “Hand on it!” or “Come as you wish”. Yes, what now? It is typical that these instructions – or: requirements? – Appeal only to women. There is a fine line between “I deal with myself with relish so that I know what I want” and “Darling, lie down, I’ll take care of it (for me)”. Women of all people who have really done enough in their lives , perfected and stressed out for everyone (and also experience orgasms through stimulation of the vulva and clitoris), should now also retrain on vaginal orgasms during intercourse – so that the guy can not only feel that he is meant to be involved, but also that he is the proud causer? No, let it be. If that still doesn’t work, it’s not his fault, it’s her fault again. Not practiced enough.

No more pressure to perform, having to make a career as a “pussy magician” while still in bed, which is now sold as “female empowerment”. Because quickly we are there with the old Freud, who once prescribed for the female sex that only vaginal orgasms through penile penetration were the true, mature ones, which would distinguish a silly girl from the marriageable woman. It’s been in people’s minds and bodies ever since. Today’s sex therapists preach that everyone is responsible for their own pleasure and orgasm. But why would you need another person in bed and something like erotic chemistry? Sex toys, heating pads for warm feet and Netflix would also work as a substitute. Crazy idea: Can men maybe do something about the hormone balance? Buy textbooks, read them, internalize them, try them out – and don’t think watching porn should suffice as further education? Maybe even ask your partner how she wants it and just do it? Then even amatoes without a sex goddess certificate would love to accommodate him.

Karina Luebke lives and loves in Hamburg. It’s our impression that she doesn’t like to be dictated to.

barbara