Bedtime or nap time can be complicated for some children. And when they don’t want to go to sleep, the recall syndrome creeps into your daily life. But what is it and how to get out of it?
You come home from work and the evening rush begins. Do homework, eat, brush your teeth, tell a story but when falling asleep you still can’t breathe, why? Your children find all possible excuses not to sleep.
“Another story”, “I want to pee”, “I’m thirsty”, “I didn’t kiss”or “I need to tell daddy a secret” or mom and it’s often for the person who is not present at bedtime. This circus can last a very long time, your child demonstrates great imagination to spend as much time as possible with you. This situation sometimes puts a strain on your nerves. Already know that itThis attitude is completely normal. Children all want to spend quality time with their parents, especially when they haven’t seen them all day. They need their daily dose of affection.
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The evening ritual
Create a ritual in the evening can help your child not delay bedtime. Don’t hesitate to make to do lists, which you check off with your child so that he understands that when everything is done, it’s time to go to sleep! During this ritual, be fully available to him. No phone, TV. We listen to him, we cuddle him, we give him the attention he needs.
At Marion, mother of two boys aged 8 and 10, everything is framed : every evening after dinner, head to the bathroom for brushing your teeth, then 15 minutes of quiet play in the bedroom, for example a puzzle. Then she moves in with her two boys, reads them a story in their bed, just one. Around 8:30 p.m., she leaves the room and turns off the light, her two sons can then read for another 30 minutes. At 9 p.m., the lights go out. The parents alternate for the story and the game is often all together. “To prevent them from getting up, I go around all potential requests. Are you thirsty? Pee?”, explains the mother. “I also tell them that now it’s parents’ time and we’re going to have dinner and relax. But in truth I’m not getting away from it.”
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Tip: quantify requests by materializing them
It’s a way to empower your child to become aware the number of reminders he makes before sleeping. You can offer him three tickets per nightthese tickets correspond to the requests he will make before falling asleep. One ticket = one request, and if your child uses less than three you can reward them! The number is subjective you can choose to give him more or less, the main thing being that your child sees them. Little by little the child will decrease these reminders to obtain a reward, it’s a bit like a game to set up. This trick works for many children!
Create quiet time alone in bed
After ticking all the squares of the evening ritual, you can offer your child a quiet time with a book for example. By leaving him alone, without external stimulation, with a weak light, you can explain to him that it is his moment and that he will fall asleep when he is ready. If this calm time suits your child, he will be more independent in his bedtime and will ask you less. The objective being that he understands that he can do things by being alone and manage his sleep without mom and dad. The advantage is that your child will wake up safely since he falls asleep in the same environment as where he wakes up with all these landmarks around him!
Parenting writer
Zoé is on a work-study program, she joined the aufeminin team in September 2022, she writes for the parenting section. Committed and curious, Zoé likes to write to advance…