SocialBattery
Why some people rob us of more energy than others
© Mariia Korneeva / Adobe Stock
There are people with whom three hours feels like three seconds – but unfortunately there is also the opposite case. Some people simply drain our social battery at the speed of light. Why is that?
I’m an introvert who, while generally enjoying spending time with others – as long as it’s in moderation – definitely needs a break from social gatherings. But there are people (my husband, my best friend) with whom I can be together almost indefinitely without my energy level dropping. But I have other friends or family members that I really like and who are not necessarily particularly loud and exhausting – but with whom spending time together still takes a lot more energy. I often have a real social hangover when I’ve been with certain people.
The social battery of introverts runs out faster
Most people have internalized the concept of introversion and extraversion. There are people who draw strength from spending time with others, being on the road and getting new impressions – the extroverts. On the other hand, there are introverts who, depending on their type, can certainly enjoy being in company, but whose batteries definitely need new energy afterwards – and they get that best on their own.
How much of this “social time” we humans tolerate depends on many factors. This includes the general mood, the stress level – and also the society. Because there are people who drain our social battery much faster than others. Introverts in particular feel this very strongly, but most of us have certainly experienced that being with some people can be really exhausting (keyword social hangover).
These factors influence our social battery
According to psychologist Dr. Meg Arroll ties the rate at which our social battery is draining to a number of factors. “It includes our personality, the personality of the other person, our attachment style and how stressed we feel,” she told Stylist.
“For some people, such as highly sensitive people, social interaction in general can be very demanding because they can perceive the moods of others as well as impressions very intensively. Others need more input from outside in order to experience the world optimally.”
The key here is to get to know yourself well and to be careful with your own feelings. This allows us to tailor our social interactions to our needs.
Avoid energy thieves – even if it’s not your fault
And that can mean spending less time with the person we love very much, but who we know is simply draining us. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with the person, it just means that our social energy levels aren’t (right) a good match.
For example, we may feel like we can’t be 100 percent ourselves with that person, or that we need to hide some aspect of our personality. We don’t even have to see some people live for this, because even a WhatsApp conversation can become quite exhausting if we constantly make sure not to write anything wrong. Or we have to shoulder the lion’s share of the conversation when we meet, because we simply don’t get enough feedback from our counterpart. Even if this is probably not meant in a bad way, it can cost a lot of energy.
We’re not always in control of how many social interactions we have — and with whom. Because at work or in the family context, we sometimes have to deal with people who are not necessarily good for us or who take away more strength from us than we currently have. It is all the more important that we know ourselves and our needs well, so that we can at least shape the areas of our lives that we can influence in such a way that they give us energy – and don’t steal it.
Sources used: stylist.co.uk, medicalnewstoday.com