Just go on holiday alone, answer honestly when asked how you are, or point out to a stranger that your pants are untied – there are things that are not necessarily frowned upon in society, but are only supported to a limited extent. Why actually?
Society sets norms and values that influence and guide our actions. This is an absolutely great idea in some cases – because it keeps some people from expressing their opinions too clearly because they know there could be unfortunate consequences. But let’s be honest: Some norms really are a bit outdated and limit us more than they make sense.
We asked the editors and collected things that some people still consider “abnormal” but that we really want to normalize. Because they harm nobody and some are even really fun – or have been swept under the carpet for far too long.
What we should definitely normalize
Just because something is unusual doesn’t mean it’s bad. On the contrary: It is worthwhile for all of us to question the sometimes deadlocked ideas, norms and values of society and to expand the imposed limits bit by bit. Or sometimes just to break through completely. This is the only way our society has been able to develop over the past decades and centuries. Where there is no change, there is no progress – why not start with the following things?
It should be “normal” to do things alone
Our society is very couple-centric. “Oh, you have nobody?” is a question for singles that is ugly on several levels.
- First of all, when in doubt, you have many people in your life. “Nobody” means a sexual-romantic relationship, which is not the main goal of every single person in life anyway, because …
- … maybe you don’t want anyone on this level in your life?
- … you didn’t ask for a comment or an evaluation of your life.
And even if you’re in a relationship, that doesn’t mean you have to stick together and do everything, absolutely everything, together. Do you fancy a movie? A celebration? A restaurant visit? A whole vacation? None of these things need to be accompanied. On the contrary: Being alone can teach us a lot about ourselves, and it’s always a good sign to feel comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t need someone to distract you.
Pregnancy should be allowed to be announced before the 12th week
“I know it’s not actually allowed yet, but…” – we hear statements like this more often when it comes to someone ignoring a “ban” and – oh, shock! – dares to tell us about her own pregnancy before it’s really “safe”. The risk that the embryo will not survive is highest in the first twelve weeks, which is why it has become established that pregnancy is only reported after this period.
And certainly, some feel more comfortable with it – after all, it can create pressure when many people know about the pregnancy and then something goes wrong and you have to tell everyone about it. For this reason, one might want to keep the circle as small as possible.
But everyone should be able to think about that for themselves, because on the other hand, it excludes close friends and family from an exciting time.
And: If something does go wrong in the first few weeks, it often means that you are all alone with this sad and, for some, traumatic experience. Why not get people close to you on board beforehand so that they can be there for you?
It’s okay not to want kids
Speaking of pregnancy: We live in a time when women can be anything – but why do some people still look at them askance if they don’t want to be something?
Not everyone wants children. This fact seems to be socially accepted for men, but women (or people with a uterus) often have to justify not having children until their menopause. Especially when they are with someone else.
You don’t have to hate children to not want one yourself. Everyone is allowed to make decisions about their own body and pregnancy is an enormous intervention. Not to mention the responsibility that follows. Not seeing this for your own life planning is more than okay and should be absolutely “normal”.
Therapies should be treated like visits to doctors
While therapies are becoming more and more socially accepted, there still seems to be a long way to go before everyone considers a therapy just as natural as a visit to their family doctor. No one would bat an eyelid at you seeking medical help with a sprained wrist, so why not with a broken psyche?