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In Tamil culture there is sometimes pressure to marry within the same caste – a Swiss Tamil tells us.
“I know that even close friends would leave me if I married a woman from the wrong caste.” Jeni is 28 years old and a Tamil from Zurich.
He cannot escape the social pressure that has arisen thousands of kilometers away. The traditional caste system also prevails here in Switzerland.
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“Many relationships fail because of the caste system.” 28-year-old Jeni wants change.
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“It’s a kind of pigeonholing that you’re born into – you stay in the corresponding caste all your life,” explains Jeni. It took him a long time to realize how problematic this system was. People in lower castes are systematically discriminated against and have no opportunities for advancement.
Nevertheless, many people in Switzerland still follow this apprenticeship, “including young friends who went to school with me here”. Particularly grotesque for Jeni: “Actually, every Tamil I know has experienced discrimination at some point – so it’s absurd that we discriminate against ourselves like that.”
That’s why you can’t generalize here either, “that’s how I and many friends experience it – but there isn’t one Tamil man or woman.” This message is important to Jeni.
The fact is: the caste system is a big taboo topic in the community. It usually only comes into focus before a wedding or when a couple communicates that they are together.
The pressure from conservative families can be immense – it is not uncommon for people to end up deciding against love and for the family. What remains is sadness and incomprehension, says Jeni.
“I don’t understand how you can give up everything you’ve built together – just because of an old relic.” Jeni is not alone with this attitude. “No matter what you promised each other beforehand, the family can build up such social pressure that the best relationship can break down,” says Jaanu, a friend of Jeni.
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Jaanu wants to sensitize those around her on the topic.
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Something like that is incredibly sad, which is why she wants to speak proactively about the caste system, “so that people realize that such a system is not okay.”
Caste is often more important than anything else. “You can be a successful doctor, but you still won’t be respected,” explains Jaanu.
One’s own social status therefore depends on who one’s ancestors belonged to decades ago and cannot be changed through one’s own efforts and despite hard work.
Jeni is opposed to the caste system, the values are completely out of date, the origins are on another continent – but it still influences the 28-year-old. “When you see all the drama and know the consequences, it does something to you.” You then unconsciously pay attention to your caste affiliation, no matter how much you despise the system.
New generation, new values
Freedom means that you don’t necessarily have to do everything like other people. In addition to Jeni and Jaanu, more and more younger Tamils think this way. Because even if the status quo sometimes makes for heartbreaking stories for many people, mainly in lower castes, according to Jeni, developments are going in the right direction.
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“There are more and more marriages between different castes.” Jeni in front of the temple in Trimbach (SO).
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More and more people in love are ignoring the caste system and marrying for love. “When I see how the first generation of immigrants thought, what values we kids from the nineties carry with us and how things look different today, then I see a beautiful change,” says Jeni. “We are becoming more and more free.”