The 5 things to do to help children deal with a disappointment, according to psychologists

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Disappointments can be difficult for children to deal with and as a parent you have to know how to react. Psychologists give 5 ways to manage better.

Children’s emotions can be complicated for parents to manage, so it is sometimes better to call on specialists for guidance. Whether it’s the signals that show a child is spoiled rotten or that a child is getting naughty, psychologists often agree to guide parents toward viable solutions. Educational models are often at the origin of negative behavior but it is never too late to react, the whole thing being to realize our weak points.

When you’re little, disappointments and frustrations can create temper tantrums that are hard to channel. The first confrontation with failure at school, for example, can be particularly frustrating. Psychologists have therefore given 5 ways to help children live with this kind of emotion without it going too far. They all confided in today.com to best guide parents.

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The 5 tips for learning to control children’s disappointments

  • Validating Children’s Emotions : we must not recreate frustration on a disappointment, it is therefore important to show the child that his emotions are normal and that he has the right to be disappointed. Psychologists explain: “It’s critical to hear their story, validate their emotions, and genuinely listen to what they’ve been through. Be sure to listen before you try to solve a problem.”
  • Resist the urge to solve the problem : It is a normal reaction to want to solve the problem but this reaction does not help the child on the contrary. It is more rewarding to teach him to manage the situation independently: “We don’t want our children to suffer or go through things that might be difficult for them. And at the same time, there are a lot of benefits for kids to learn and understand how to deal with something that doesn’t seem very easy to them at first.”
  • Help them live with negative emotions : You can’t always repel negative emotions, sometimes you just have to manage to deal with them. Both adults and children must do their utmost to ensure that these emotions are not unmanageable and for this they must be guided in breathing exercises, for example. It’s a great quality to know how to deal with our negative emotions and it’s quite rare…
  • Offer help to overcome these emotions : Psychologists explain: “Sometimes when they’re struggling, you can ask them a question like, ‘What’s really hard for you? Why is it really hard?’ It’s a way of guiding and reassuring them while leaving them a measure of autonomy. Dialogue is central in this kind of situation. The child will learn as they grow to find solutions to calm down and manage their disappointments.
  • Don’t insist on helping them if they don’t want to : To deal with disappointment, some people need to step aside for a while, it’s exactly the same for children. You have to leave them a space just for them while explaining to them that when they feel ready, you will be there for them.


The psychologists end by explaining that these tips may not be easy to implement. But don’t panic, everyone makes mistakes: “We build human beings and that takes time.”

Parenting writer

Zoé is on a work-study program, she joined the aufeminin team in September 2022, she writes for the parenting section. Committed and curious, Zoé likes to write to advance…

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