Even if more and more heterosexual couples are trying to distribute household chores better, these are still largely taken over by women. However, this would have a direct impact on sexual health and the emotional bond present within the relationship.
The mental burden that weighs on women in terms of managing household chores has, according to an American study, a direct impact on the sexual and emotional health of couples, especially when they are heterosexual. The unequal distribution of chores also impacts men since some of them have been, over time, gendered. The study in question was conducted by UCL (University of California) and published in 2018 in the journal of the NGO Council of Contemporary Families which studies the evolution of behaviors and practices of American families.
Relayed by the magazine NEON, the study reveals that the unequal sharing of tasks and the gendered attribution of the latter strongly degrades the sexual health and the emotional bond within the couples. For example, for the women interviewed, the chore of washing up is particularly degrading morally. And this, even if an agreement was made between the two individuals of the type: you do the dishes, I cook. However, the dishes are often returned to women who, according to Daniel Carlson, lead author of the study and interviewed by The Atlantic, feel they have to take care of the hygiene of others: “There is old, moldy food lying around in the sink. If you have children, there is curdled milk in the spouting cups, the smell of which is disgusting. They can thus feel that they are doing chores ‘that nobody wants to do’ ”.
Inequality in the frequency of tasks
As far as men are concerned, it is the drudgery of shopping that can prove to be heavy to bear. The study shows that men who discuss and manage large purchases for the family with their partner have a more fulfilling relationship. In addition, we must not forget that occasional household chores – DIY, taking out the trash, hanging out the laundry or mowing the lawn – are very often taken care of by men. Where women find themselves managing much more daily chores such as washing dishes, but also maintaining surfaces (worktop, toilet, sink, etc.)
Don’t hesitate to have a practical thought
This is why Daniel Carlson insists on getting organized within the couple. It is about better managing the difference in pressure weighing on the shoulders of individuals invested in a couple relationship. He advises to create a rotation of the tasks or to opt for a “you wash / I dry” or a “you load the races / I unload them”. A great educational work must, moreover, be done among men to make them understand the pressure that a large part of women feel, to have to live in an interior with magazine aspects. Because many men do not understand this pressure and are content to advise their partner to “let go”, where they would like them to take charge of part of their anxiety.