Manhattan Effect
This is how the relationship killer destroys your love
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The Manhattan Effect makes us unhappy and ruins our relationships. We explain what’s behind it and how we can avoid it.
Suppose your partner gets the chance of his:her life. A job that will advance him:her professionally, the opportunity for a sabbatical… something of that sort. You know, it would make him:her happy and his:her self-confidenceto seize this opportunity.
But it would be a huge challenge for your relationship! You would see each other a lot less, he:she would change and evolve while for you everything stays the same – only that he:she isn’t there as much as before.
Would you still support him:her and encourage him:her to take the chance, or would you try to persuade him:her to stay?
What is the Manhattan Effect?
Exactly about this one moral issue is the so-called Manhattan effect. Does one partner prevent the other from developing and to realize his:her dreams, because he:she in what would be necessary to a threat to the relationship sees, psychologists speak of the Manhattan effect. Named after the Woody Allen film “Manhattan,” in which the protagonist Isaac begs his younger friend Tracy to stay with him in New York instead of doing a semester abroad.
One found that the Manhattan effect is more widespread than one might think (or not…). US study out, which was published in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology”. As a result, many people tend to limit their loved ones all the more, the more fear for their relationship triggers their self-realization in them.
Why is the Manhattan Effect dangerous for the relationship?
Problem with the whole thing: A partnership should make us strong and help to develop self-esteem and develop ourselves. Only then does it make us happy and last forever. In other words, if you give in to the Manhattan effect, you will achieve exactly the opposite of what you intend to achieve in the long term. Instead of maintaining the relationship, he drives his partner away from him.
How The Michelangelo Phenomenon Strengthens Relationships
The counterpart to the Manhattan effect is what psychologists call it Michelangelo phenomenon. It is considered one of the most important ingredients of lasting, happy relationships. The artist Michelangelo coined the mindset that the main task of a sculptor was to make the beauty of a sculpture visible.
Applied to relationships, the Michelangelo phenomenon describes couples in which the partners behave like sculptors and helping others to unfold their beauty. Of course, this requires trust above all – both in yourself and in your partner. But without that, a relationship is always on shaky posts anyway…
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