partnership
These 2 skills are central to a successful relationship
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Whether two people are happy and content in a relationship depends on various factors. According to one psychologist, two skills are most important.
Communication at eye level, mutual trust, great feelings. All of these things can be keys to a successful relationship. The psychologist dr. However, Daniel S. Lobel names two skills that both partners must have in order for the relationship to be satisfactory in the long term.
Every good partnership needs these two skills
1. Commitment
A binding agreement on certain rules and parameters in the relationship is important so that both partners feel safe and comfortable. This commitment can cover very different areas of the partnership. The basis here is basic agreements on the relationship model, for example with regard to the topic of loyalty. However, it is also important that both people undertake to discuss differences of opinion objectively. So nobody has to be afraid that the relationship will break up because of a small disagreement.
2. Dealing with anger
Anger can be a very revealing emotion. It can alert us that something is going wrong – or that someone is hurting us. How we deal with anger and how we communicate it is fundamental for our relationship to succeed. The first step here is to understand exactly what hurt us and subsequently made us angry. Once we have identified this, we should communicate it factually to our partner. And without getting loud or throwing insults at our counterpart. If we manage to bring this constructive handling of anger into our relationship, that is a good basis for a stable, successful partnership in which both sides feel secure.
Why the two skills are so important
After all, that’s what it’s all about: According to Dr. Both commitment and the right way to deal with anger are important to Daniel Lobel so that both partners get what they deep down want: a feeling of security within a relationship. And here the traditional concept of security, which includes financial stability or sexual fidelity, is not in the foreground. It’s more about being able to trust our counterpart and being sure that both of us will stick to the agreements we have made – regardless of whether it’s about the relationship with the in-laws or the dinner.
If these two key qualities are missing in a relationship, according to Dr. Lobel quickly gets into trouble and becomes “transactional”. The expert explained to “Psychology Today”: “The relationship is characterized by the last interaction.” Any frustration or dissatisfaction is seen as the current status of the entire relationship. And so the feeling of being judged again and again and the fear of the reaction of our counterpart can cause insecurity.
With most relationship conflicts – especially those that come up again and again – it pays to work on the two crucial skills: commitment and handling anger.
Source used: psychologytoday.com