Children and adolescents can be very frank or, on the contrary, have difficulty expressing their feelings to their parents. Although it is not possible to predict everything, certain types of sentences should not be ignored.
Communicating with your child is not easy. Some parents will therefore redouble your creativity to encourage their children to express themselves, like this mother who invented a game to encourage her children to tell her about their day at school. For others, injunctions around parenting can be such a source of anxiety that they become perfectionists.
When children confide, it is complicated to know how to understand their confidences. To help parents anticipate, the HuffPost went to several mental health experts. The latter listed four types of questions which can emerge when a child opens up, and provided advice on how to react.
The rest after this ad
1/ Questions about their identity
This may, for example, concern children and adolescents who are wondering about their sexual orientation or gender identity. They can then try to communicate by stating, for example: “I have something to tell you” or “I think I might be lesbian, gay, bi, trans, etc.” Michelle Forcier, psychologist at Folx Health (an American platform which offers care for LGBT people), advises parents who do not have time to discuss it immediately to make sure their child knows this topic is important and that they can talk about it later. In a general way, “It says a lot about your relationship when your children talk to you about a problem they are facing. They brought up the topic because they feel safe with you“observes Kristin Wilson, a licensed professional therapist with Newport Healthcare.
The rest after this ad
2/ Self-depreciation
A child who struggles to make friends or who feels bad about himself may devalue himself (“I hate my body”, “I’m dumb”, “I hate myself”) or feel anxiety (“I am scared”, “I’m worried”). “I would encourage parents to look at the source of stress“, says Chinwé Williams, licensed professional therapist. If the child says they feel alone, she advises parents to try to find out more or tell them a story related to loneliness. “What seems insignificant to you can be significant for your child”, explains Elisabeth Kane, psychologist at Children’s Nebraska. “If your child does an unusual comment or self-criticism and you’re not sure whether you should be concerned, clarification is always a good first step.”she specifies.
The rest after this ad
3/ Dark thoughts
Verbalized by his child, suicidal thoughts can be difficult to hear for a parent. “Your child may not directly say that they want to harm themselves, but they may say something like, ‘I wish I didn’t have to deal with all of this,’ or ‘My friends would be better off without Me'”, describes Elisabeth Kane. In this case, The first thing to do is to ask him to clarify his remarks by telling him, for example: “What do you mean ?”, “What makes you say that ?” Or “Can you tell me more ?”. Asking the question will not encourage the child to harm themselvesand can, on the contrary, help defuse the situation.
The rest after this ad
4/ The description of unusual or inappropriate relationships
While a teenager will undoubtedly want a little privacy when entering into a romantic life, the way he talks about it can alert. “If your child makes comments about secrets he or she has with another person or hints at an unusual relationship with her, especially with other adultsthis may be a potential indication of harm and is important to follow up on.”, explains Elisabeth Kane. In case of doubt, she advises, for example, to ask open-ended questions.
Journalist
Passionate about writing, Floréane is interested in a wide variety of subjects. When she is not writing about current affairs, the environment or gender issues, she takes refuge under a blanket…