Relayed by Cosmopolitan, Bustle magazine collected the words of several experts in romantic relationships. They have listed the phrases that can be seen as red flags of a relationship in decline.
In his famous book Letters to a young person poet published in 1904, Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: “Love will be (…) infinitely delicate and considerate, good and clear in all the things it ties or unties. It will be (…) two solitudes protecting each other, complementing each other, limiting each other (…) and bowing to each other. » But what happens when the desire to show esteem to the one you love disappears? What are the exchanges transforming into? Psychologists have given clues by listing the phrases that one is likely to say to another when the breakup is near.
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According to several relationship experts interviewed by Bustle and relayed byr Cosmopolitan, before focusing on the sentences that can herald the end of a romance, we can alert ourselves to several small, ominous signals. Among them, the fact that your other half blames you for things that happen in their life when you are not the cause. Don’t be fooled by a companion if he assures you that without you he would have already become the new Bradley Cooper!
Signs of disenchantment: how to spot them?
After the negative reproaches, the harsh sentences. “I need time for myself” is one of them. “It’s a sign that your partner may be frustrated with spending so much time together », judges in fact an expert. In the same way, a “We need to slow down » letting go of your sweetheart is a bad sign. “People who are very much in love with each other usually want to move on very quickly. If your relationship was moving at full speed and your partner suddenly asks you to slow down, it could be a sign of questioning”considers psychotherapist Jonathan Bennett here.
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More passive-aggressive, and, one could say, a little less courageous, the phrase “you deserve better than me” is widely known. In the course of their life, everyone will have heard it at least once. Don’t be fooled if you hear it! Relationship expert Julia McCarley considers that it can be a manipulative phrase whose main aim is to make you believe that it is you who chooses to leave, when it is the other person, by this implied a bit sneaky, which pushes you there.
“I didn’t think you’d want to come,” and other manipulative phrases
“I didn’t think you’d want to come” is another phrase that assumes without saying. If the person you share your life with says it, it may mean that they were hoping… that you wouldn’t come. Bad sign : your partner might want to distance themselves.
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Finally, psychotherapist Kimberly Hersheson judges that the phrase ” I’m not in the mood “ pronounced in a context where the other would testify to his wish to have sexual intercourse. If we must of course remember that everyone is free from their desire as well as from the absence of it, what is alarming is when things are not clear, and the other refuses to discuss the causes of their desire. loss of libido.
Camille Bonvalet has an interest in societal subjects and feminist issues. She is also passionate about literature. Versatile, she appreciates the prose of Flaubert as much as that of Michel…