With a sweet voice, perfectly coiffed hair à la Marilyn Monroe, flawless makeup and a pretty ruffled dress, TikToker Estee Williams explains how to become a “tradwife.” The “Tradwives” are increasingly appearing on social media; they cook, bake, clean and take care of the house and family. We didn’t travel back in time – we explain here why the young women love this lifestyle and where it comes from.
In a world that is always committed to progress and equality, it seems paradoxical that a trend like “Tradwives” is receiving increasing attention on platforms like TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. “Tradwives”, a combination of “tradition” and “wife”, describes women who consciously choose a conservative role model. With dresses, high heels, homemade food and always perfectly styled, they present themselves in a world that is strongly reminiscent of the housewife advertisements of the 1950s.
“Tradwives” live and love the role models of the 1950s
The “Tradwives” movement is not new; in 2020 it was already discussed in the media in Great Britain, for example. Now the trend is also attracting more attention in Germany. Nevertheless, the question arises as to what is behind it when young women suddenly want to go back to the 1950s.
As a study by Ipsos shows, there is a trend, especially among younger people, to return to traditional role distributions. “A man who stays at home and looks after the children is not a real man” – 21 percent of those surveyed in Germany agree with this. However, a look at the generations shows clear differences: While only eight percent of baby boomers are of this opinion, more than one see it a third of Millennials, namely 35 percent and a quarter of Gen Z (26 percent) feel that their masculinity is threatened by care work.
While 60 percent of men think enough has been done for gender equality, only 38 percent of women think so. A full 45 percent of German men are even convinced that the promotion of equality has now gone so far that men are discriminated against; 29 percent of women also see it that way. The global trend matches the German results. According to the Ipsos study, 52 percent of people on average in the countries surveyed think that (too) much is expected of men when it comes to equality. And almost every second person (46 percent) believes that they are observing discrimination against men as a result of increasing equality. Both values have increased significantly since 2019.
A welcome gap for conservatives – and a TikTok trend?
In this frightening truth, gaps open up for trends that follow exactly this line and want to return to old role models. Influencers on social media platforms receive a lot of support for their lifestyle as “Stay at Home Girlfriends” or “Tradwives”. The former can be seen as a precursor to “Tradwives”. Well-known TikTokers like Kendall Kay and Carolina Tolstik started publishing posts about it a few years ago. They see themselves as feminists and emphasize that everyone should do what makes them happy. They emphasize that they have no desire to be a “girl boss” and that the feminist role model of the working woman (who also does the housework at home) is too strenuous for them. They love staying at home, making the husband’s meals, having their exercise and self-care routines, and journaling.
The danger behind the supposed trend
But not all “Tradwives” present themselves as modern and supposedly self-determined as Tolstik and Kay. Estee Williams, whose look and attitude are truly reminiscent of bygone times, explains on her TikTok channel what a “tradwife” is:
“A tradwife is a woman who chooses to a more traditional life with ultra-traditional role models lead. The man leaves the house, works and takes care of the family, the woman stays at home, is the housewife and takes care of the household and the children, if there are any. “Tradwives” also believe that they should submit to their husbands and serve their husbands and family and this causes irritation in people because the words “submit” and “serve” make women believe that we are less than a man, but that’s not the case.”
Many “tradwives”, especially from the USA, live this conservative role model 24/7 and associate it with highly religious, sometimes right-wing ideologies. The intersection between the “Tradwife” movement and the “Alt-Right” movement in the USA, which stands for racist ideologies such as “White Supremacy”, is often clear. Here white women are supposed to submit to their husbands and ensure the birth of many white children.
What critics now fear
This development poses risks not only for women, but also for the LGBTIQ+ community. A return to traditional role models also means a return to a binary understanding of gender and sexual identity. The communication scientist Julia Stüve emphasizes to Deutschlandfunk that this is precisely the White right uses this role modelto win young women over to their misogynistic ideologies. This doesn’t just happen in the USA, the AfD Saxony also posted a meme on Instagram last year, which ties in with this. The picture shows the traditional wife and housewife juxtaposed with the enemy image of the depraved modern feminist. It clearly describes what qualities a model woman should have.
Bye to financial independence
Another point that housewives fail to address on social media is their lost financial independence. The beautifully dressed women enjoy completing the tasks that are naturally intended for them, but apparently forget that in doing so they are giving themselves up to absolute dependence. Nataschawegelin, the founder and managing director of “Madame Moneypenny”, emphasizes the feminist YouTube format “Chest out” the financial consequences of such a return to old role models: “Whoever has the money has the power. If only one person in a relationship gets the money, an unsightly power structure arises, which can of course also be exploited.”
The entrepreneur explains that the earning party can separate at any time, while the other party may not be able to financially afford to separate. A “tradwife” would either remain in an unhappy relationship or perhaps have nothing at all after a separation – no career to start, no money for ongoing expenses, no savings to protect herself – instead perhaps even children that she also has to look after. Wegenin describes this as a clear path to poverty.
The problem is complex and goes beyond simple role concepts. It shows the persistent rigid structures and the difficulties of achieving true equality in a society that is still characterized by traditional role models. The trend toward “tradwives” may be a form of self-determination for some, but it runs the risk of reinforcing patriarchal structures and power imbalances. That’s why it’s important to promote media literacy and to critically question what lies behind such productions.
Sources used: tagesschau.de, real-variety.de, deutschlandfunk.de, https://www.youtube.com/@BRUSTRAUS, ipsos.com: Ipsos Global Advisor study “International Women’s day 2024. Global Attitudes towards women’s leadership “