fFor all those who suffer from the fact that the “heute show” is still in the summer holidays, we have a tip to bridge the gap: the CSU TikTok channel. You shouldn’t expect Markus Söder to do such a hot dance there as his Finnish colleague Sanna Marin. But Söder does and says a few funny things, at least from our point of view. The target audience, we hear, finds them rather crinch. At a young age, not everyone seems to be able to recognize Söder’s subtle sense of satire, which he already flashes in the welcome video. The CSU boss, who is known to like to dress up, appears there as Lutz van der Horst, so there’s no mistaking the hairdo. This is the comedian who gets politicians to say strange things for the “heute show”. On TikTok they do it without such a keyword.
On this platform, even statesmen are now revealing things that you always wanted to know but never dared to ask in an interview. In the case of Söder, for example, what he eats on Christmas Eve (shish kebab, red herring salad). And whether he also likes doner kebabs (yes). But don’t worry, dear regular voters of the CSU: He made this commitment under a clearly visible wooden cross.
Söder under a waterfall in the Partnachklamm
The outing of the Bavarian Prime Minister that he liked to swim in Bavarian lakes was also refreshing. Surprisingly, however, Söder did not take the opportunity to elegantly transition to the topic that is currently upsetting the Germans. He could have said: You can also get clean in the Chiemsee, but much cheaper than in your own tub. A video of Söder soaping himself under a waterfall in the Partnachklamm would have gone viral. But not only did Habeck, who had a quick shower, cause a sensation with his savings suggestions for the bathroom, but even Söder’s neighbor Kretschmann alone with his washcloth.
Well, waves of malice swept over the Swabian lifeguard afterwards. But they do not prove that Kretschmann bathed too hot, but that he touched a sore, not to say wet point in the people’s soul. The outrage at the call to wash cats can only be explained by the German shower addiction. No doubt the cosmetic-industrial complex in America instilled that in us.
You would have to use oat milk as a bath additive
After all, Germany didn’t stink to high heaven when people only bathed once a week, and in the same water, to which at most an effervescent tablet with the scent of pine needles was dispensed. Nowadays, of course, you would have to use oat milk as a bath additive. The earlier sequence of bathing (father, mother, child) is also no longer up to date. But that could be changed. Or, soon even simpler: the bathers simply change their gender from week to week.
It is and remains a mystery why a nation whose ranks include not only politicians who follow the motto “wash my fur, but don’t get me wet” takes a shower every day. Where you even have to be careful not to drown in the modern rain shower cabins with their high-pressure jets; the differences to a car wash are only gradual.
Scholz washes his hands in innocence
And our national washing compulsion doesn’t even stop at banknotes. The Minister of Finance now wants to tackle this waste of energy with a new authority. Maybe at least she’ll find out where the two hundred thousand euros that were lying in a locker in Hamburg, probably to dry, come from. At the moment, however, no one knows for sure, not even the chancellor. He washes his hands of it, quite often too. Politics can be a pretty dirty business.
So far just a word about the woken washcloths in Ravensburg
Which brings us back to Söder. He has now also intervened in the Winnetou debate, but so far only on Twitter and only with a word of approval to the indignation at the woken washcloths from Ravensburger Verlag. The topic calls for a spectacular commitment to the noble Indian on TikTok. Do we need to mention in what disguise?