why should men stop explaining life to women?

We had already told you about manspreading, that somewhat annoying mania that men have for taking up all the space in public space, legs apart, metro crowded or not. It is not only in the public space where women have to make themselves very small. What can we say about manterrupting, which consists in cutting off a woman’s speech and thus silencing her? At work, at home, in everyday life, in short, everywhere and all the time, women’s voices are reduced to a minimum. Talking for them or explaining subjects that they have mastered is a habit that most men have.

A deeply sexist situation, which is part of the logic of our patriarchal society, and which has a name: mansplaining. In 2016, in France, Muriel Robin mentioned it in Hello Earthlings about abortion. “It tires me these men who decide for women. We are in the hands of men as if we were nothing!”she exclaimed. Jean-Claude Vandamme, competition mansplainer, had meanwhile been singled out by Marlène Schiappa, in 2016, in We are not in bed. Mansplaining is therefore not uncommon, quite the contrary.

We explain everything about this exclusively male behavior to which it is important to raise awareness to make room for women and, finally, hope for more equality.

Read also : Manspreading: how to react to this sexist behavior?

What is mansplaining?

Mansplaining is the contraction of “man”, “homme” in English, and “explaining”, which translates to “explain”. According to The Atlantic, the first written record of this form of sexism dates back to 1903 with a text by theologian Lyman Abbott. In it, he explained why women did not want the right to vote. Thank you, but no thank you, no one had asked for his opinion.

The concept of mainsplaning, a completely anti-feminist practice, was recognized and popularized in 2008, notably thanks to an article in the LA Times written by Rebecca Solnit, an American writer and feminist activist. She evokes an edifying anecdote, which serves as a perfect example of mansplaining. The novelist tells how a man had spoken at length with her, without letting her intervene, to speak to her about a book … while she was, in reality, the author. However, the word mansplaining did not appear from the writer’s pen. On the other hand, it gained momentum the same year, thanks to social networks.

Read also : Body positive: a liberating movement or a depoliticized current?

So this is mansplaining: all those times when a woman does not require outside intellectual help, but a man cannot help but intervene. It is as if her male interlocutor, like a Good Samaritan, felt the need to interrupt a woman to raise her intellectually and, very often, on a subject that she masters and / or which concerns her directly. Do you have a feeling of déjà vu? It is normal, many are the women to have undergone this experience. Here are three simple examples where mansplaining is rampant.

• When a man explains street harassment to a woman.
• When a man explains her menstrual cycle to a woman.
• When a man explains a subject on which he has no expertise to a woman who knows all about it.

You will understand: mansplaining is a behavior linked to gender and is an expression of male domination.

3 tools to better understand the phenomenon of mansplaining

In order to better understand mansplaining and the sexism on which it is based, but also, to deconstruct it when you aspire to an egalitarian world, we offer you three tools, audio and books, which show that no, mansplaining is not a fad of feminists.

• Don’t explain life to me man, published by Marabulles, by Rokhaya Diallo and illustrator Blachette. An essential book to better understand this concept and which, in addition, gives tips to fight against mansplaining.

• A Cultural History of Mansplaining, article in English in The Atlantic, written by Lily Rothman. From Lyman Abbott to Rebecca Solnit, feminist journalist Lily Rothman looks back on the origins of mansplaining.
• His men who explain life to me, published by l’Olivier, by Rebecca Solnit. In this essay, the novelist explores a new way of seeing feminism, for more equality between women and men, and so that the latter stop giving their opinions when they are not needed.
• Podcast Mansplaining, by Slate: in the audio genre, this podcast observes masculinity and its thousand ways of experiencing it, through current events and cultural works. We talk about the thriller Summer of sam of Spike Lee, a film that plunges us into the South Bronx, but also of the US actor Harold Ramis or the producer prosecuted for sexual violence Harvey Weinstein. Male privileges are called into question there, in what is one of our favorite podcasts.

Mansplaining must stop, here are 3 tips for men to stop

Since we explain life to women, they can also explain life to men: good manners and how, finally, to stop being moralistic and paternalistic on subjects that they undoubtedly master and without outside help, let alone male. Our advice to men:

• Ask yourself if the speech of your interlocutor is not more legitimate than yours. Are you talking about your own experience? And is it based on systemic mechanisms?
• Don’t be judgmental when a woman speaks, don’t cut her speech. It can also become manterrupting and women don’t need that.
• Talking is good. Listen to the women and what they have to say is even better.

Read also : Mansplaining: 5 situations where women can take back power

How to react to mansplaining? 3 tips and ideas for repartees for women

If we count on men to deconstruct these misogynistic behaviors, women still need to arm themselves to take power during conversations with mansplainers. Here are three examples of repartee thought up by Rokhaya Diallo, author of Don’t explain life to me, man, to take power.

• In the professional field: be as specific as possible in order to lose the author of mansplaining if he is, in fact, less informed than you on the subject.
• When a man explains your menstrual cycle to you: ask for advice with emphasis on details, talk about the color of your period, how heavy it is. Guaranteed effect.
• In the intimate domain: “You did not enjoy? You have to let go a little” is one of the sentences that we unfortunately regularly expect in heterosexual relationships: do not hesitate to tell your partner that it is because it may be zero … At least, there, you will be let go.

Mélanie deciphers pop culture from a societal angle and questions the female gaze in films or even series, because everything is a question of gaze, she …