Write to Tinder: This is how you get answers!

Tired of being single? You are not alone with the wish. Sometimes, however, getting to know each other is difficult because the job B. does not allow. Online dating is a good alternative for getting to know people without being constantly on the move. In order for a date to come about, the first contact should be made. You can find out how to do this here.

Check profile

The letter of a match on Tinder starts with your own profile. Why? Quite simply: the wipe-and-away principle means that at first a decision is only made based on an image. But if you take a closer look, you could quickly change your mind about the match. To prevent this from happening, check the following points on your profile:

photos

When you swipe for the first time, not everyone makes the effort to look at all of the photos. Therefore, choose one for your Tinder profile picture on which you can be easily recognized and not just a small point in a large landscape. Avoid group pictures, not that your match is actually interested in one of your friends … Even the popular mirror images are not really beneficial! How many photos? Three to four good pictures should be enough.

Information

You haven't filled out anything yourself and are wondering why nobody is writing to you? For some, a few photos will be enough to contact you. But if your profile doesn't reveal anything, your match will have difficulty assessing you, maybe they just lack a suitable hook … You don't have to fill out everything, just answer the information you want to reveal. Better less and honestly than a completely filled out profile with information that you think others will want to read.

Text someone on Tinder

You have a match – now what? The good thing about Tinder: You can only write to each other if both of you already have a certain interest in each other and "Its a Match" pops up. This is a good starting point, but there are still a few steps to take before the first date.

Compliments: yes or no?

Of course, you can compliment your match. With a meaningless "You have a beautiful smile" (who doesn't?) You probably won't lure your virtual counterpart from behind the stove. Check the pictures and the profile and honestly write what really (!) Impressed you. It doesn't have to be the most creative phrase you've ever come up with in your life, but it should be real. With exuberant compliments, you can quickly be branded a slimy (even if you are actually not), but with an obviously meaningless compliment your match quickly realizes that your interest is limited.

show interest

It doesn't have to be a compliment in your first message. Do you like the profile of your match, do you want to get to know the person better – what better point of contact is there? If the profile doesn't give that much, start right there, preferably in a relaxed and humorous way ("Are you here as a spy?? ").

If you discover exciting clues – perfect! Do you have z. B. common hobbies you can start right there. But even if something catches your eye that totally surprised you.

ask questions

As in offline life, a conversation should come about with Tinder. Monologues (see also the next point!) Are therefore unsuitable for this. Asking the other person questions sounds natural and yet people tend to forget it. And then some people wonder why their matches no longer answer – they then simply have the impression that the other person is not interested in them. So: when you write your first message (and subsequent ones), put a question at the endthat your match will be happy to answer. Make sure that it cannot simply be answered with yes or no – this is difficult to get a conversation going.

Better to avoid profound philosophical questions, it is overwhelming at the beginning and does not make you feel like answering. In the course of time you will find out whether you have more than one hobby in common and can talk about God and the world.

length

Does the length really matter? When it comes to the first message, you should actually pay attention to how much you write. Kilometers of first news about how your day was or your previous (love) life went like this, overwhelm your match more than it finds you interesting. But even the famous "Hey, how are you" or just a smiley do not indicate interest in the other person. A couple of sentences (three, four, five, six) are enough.

Make curious

What works in advertising also works in other areas of life. Awaken people's curiosity and use it to your advantage. Do you have B. an extraordinary hobby? Indicate this in your profile – and let your matches guess what it is. Or let them guess which vacation spot you are in in your picture. Your match may even write to you first. Of course, this also works for the first message.

Keep calm

A little commitment doesn't do any harm if you like your flirt and are interested in a contact. But there is no need to bend over or to worry your head. Stay relaxed and yourself, sympathy and similarities cannot be forced. If it doesn't work for him or her, it will be for someone else.

Writing to someone on Tinder: examples

The man or woman may get a lot of similar messages every day and if you like him or her, you will certainly want to stand out from the crowd. The probability that that with "How is your day? "happens, is not that high. Try in your first message,

Example sentences

Tips for Your First Message – Summary

Do's for the first message

Don't for the first message

Why isn't my match writing back?

If he or she doesn't answer, it doesn't have to have anything to do with you. Remember: the selection is huge, in Germany alone several million people use this app. In addition, there are also those who are not seriously looking for a partner, but just want to look around or maybe boost their ego.

Maybe you are just not the right type for your flirt and if you notice while writing that it doesn't fit, you may save a lot of time.

How long to wait?

You wrote two hours ago and haven't received an answer? This is no reason to be restless or disappointed. Not everyone is online all the time, not everyone logs in every day. In addition, Tinder is used more in the evening hours, less during the day. Give your match a few days to respond. If nothing comes up, you can ask again – with a sure instinct.

Propose a date

If a lively conversation has developed, it makes sense to meet promptly. That doesn't mean that you should meet every flirt after two days, but it also doesn't mean that you should write for several weeks without ever seeing each other. No letter in the world can replace a face-to-face meeting. Long texting tends to lead to getting a solid picture of the other and having excessive expectations that the person may not even meet.

If your togetherness is going well, the question of a meeting will probably arise soon anyway. If that has not happened so far, you can take the first step and follow up. How you organize your first date is up to you. Cinema, candle light dinner and dancing – you can do it, but you don't have to. On the first blind date, it can't hurt to choose something relaxed. A coffee together, a walk or a round of mini golf: here you have the proximity and the time to talk and get to know each other better. And if it doesn't fit, you don't have to feel compelled to spend your entire Saturday night with someone you can't smell.

Reading tip: In the corona crisis, a lot is different and dating options are severely limited at times. How dating works in isolation and 5 ways you can fall in love despite lockdown can be found here.

Am I being held up?

Sometimes something comes up in life, sometimes some phases are crammed with other to-dos – it happens for you too. If the person consoles you for weeks or just doesn't get in touch, you can ask what's going on. Don't overdo it and keep asking questions, but let your flirtation come back to you. If nothing more comes, you at least know where you are. Find out how to best deal with ghosting here.

Beware of catfishing

There are also some fraudsters on dating apps and portals. They steal photos from the Internet, the profile does not allow any conclusions to be drawn about the person and you are put off for a long period of time, but you never meet and maybe your "match" asks you for money. Then you should pay attention at the latest. You can find out here which other features occur and how you can protect yourself from catfishing.