Are you serious?
10 thoughts parents have in the autonomy phase
© Iryna Inshyna / Shutterstock
From sunshine to dwarf: Welcome to the autonomy phase. There are seldom times when we as parents reach our limits more than now. Amazed, angry, impressed, full of pride and near a nervous breakdown, we watch what is going on with our children.
The autonomy phase is particularly noticeable between the ages of two and three. We fluctuate continuously between fascination and exhaustion – and at the same time the following thoughts shoot through our heads:
1. It doesn’t get any worse – or does it?
Whenever you think it can’t get worse, does your child take it one step further? Most parents should also be aware of this. An increase is always possible. The best example: on the playground. Whether the sand sticks too much to the molds or the waiting time for the permanently occupied swing has to be bridged: a lot of sensitivity is required here in order to avert the next attack of rage. But oh dear, if you try to go home a little too early!
2. Are you serious now?
Phew, there are days when you don’t want to anymore. Everything feels like a fight – because of cooperation. But these also pass. And from now on your sweetheart can become the cutest child in the world again. Because, from cheering up to death, all moods are known to be in the autonomy phase.
3. It’s just about brushing your teeth, my goodness!
Whether it’s a morning or evening routine: brushing your teeth is definitely one of the most stressful tasks. At least, most of the time. From complete refusal to tantrums to almost hysterical laughter, the whole range is represented.
4. But the nice food – I’ll never cook again!
All efforts in vain, the lovely dinner once again spurned – great. Next time we’ll have pasta with tomato sauce again. Oh no, not that they fly across the kitchen would be nothing new. Sometimes eating habits change as quickly as they came. A dream for us parents. Especially when the child takes a closer look at everything in the autonomy phase and has an exact idea of what shape and color the food should have: “Is there something green? No, I don’t like it. Get rid of it. ” Splendid!
5. Yay – Meltdowns in the morning!
Can we put something on for you now, please? No, you just can’t go to daycare with the diaper! Oh yes. The morning drama while getting dressed – how could you forget that? Is your child also an advocate of the free choice of clothes? Great. It feels like ten pants, three sweaters and an hour later the child is dressed and ready for daycare. But oho: woe, the wrong hat is being offered. Then the drama starts all over again.
6. Yes, always do it yourself.
In principle, it’s wonderful when the child tries out things and wants to do everything themselves. But only sometimes. Because if every attempt fails, we parents are completely sweaty and nervous, the fun will eventually have a hole. In this case, pride and madness are very closely related.
7. Please no drama, please!
The classic: You just want to go shopping for a quick round – and then your child comes and throws a spanner in the works: with the best and loudest show ever. It throws itself on the floor, turns back and forth and is already all red with anger. The only thing that helps here is stay calm, ignore all looks and somehow get out of the business – in the best case with the shopping.
8. I’m going to go crazy!
On some days, when your own nerves are a bit thin, it is also worthwhile to step out of the room for a moment, take a sip and take a deep breath. Quite clearly: The autonomy phase demands a lot from us, and depending on how we are on the day, we can cope better or worse with it. Don’t get ready and try to think of your needs despite the challenging toddler.
9. Listen. Now. Please. Simple. On.
No matter how needs-oriented we raise our children, there comes a point where you long for nothing other than peace, quiet and a short break. At least for a few minutes or an hour maybe. Because even if we are impressed by this little person, who is constantly developing so wonderfully and discovering his own mind and will, it is also quite a show of strength for us parents.
10. Good evening, good night
“Mom, another story. And then another. And then another …” or “Noooooo! I don’t want to sleep yet!” What would the perfect day in the life of a child in the autonomy phase be without the last sitting up before bed? Correct: Make it clear one last time that you cannot sleep without animal XY and that this and that story has to be read out loud is a must. And when the little darling drifts into the land of dreams and lies cuddled up to his favorite animal, we can hardly believe our luck again – until this little person turns everything upside down the next morning.
This article first appeared on Eltern.de