Why is it so valuable to teach and model family cohesion to children as early as possible? How can parents best achieve this? And what can you do to ensure that solidarity lasts as long as possible?
In stressful everyday family life, things can quickly become inharmonious and hectic. This makes it all the more important to strengthen family cohesion and support early in childhood. After all, we all know arguments and sometimes difficult times. In such phases we long for connection, security, security and trust – all basic things that most parents want to instill in their children at an early age.
When I think of a strong bond within a family, I see parents, grandparents and siblings all sitting at the same table. They laugh and cry together, share joyful experiences, exciting life stories, experiences and disappointments with each other. They are always there for each other. In good times and bad, because family is everything. But how do you get there as a family?
1. The sooner the better
Good family cohesion promotes the child’s emotional development and basic trust and strengthens social skills. This can, among other things, create a good foundation for future friendships and other relationships early on. Of course that’s what it’s all about, lots of nice things time together to spend is obvious. But how exactly can families spend this time together effectively so that they can intensify the feeling of togetherness in the family, especially in the long term? To the Planting team spirit in the family early onit is crucial that parents ask themselves as early as possible what they want to achieve as a mother or father, which values they want to pass on to their children and what they want for their offspring in the future. They can always build on this to strengthen the team spirit in the family circle.
2. Connect shared experiences
Hardly anything brings the family bond together more than activities and quality time together. It is best for both mothers and fathers to start early To really use time with your children consciouslyto build a deep connection. In stressful everyday family life, intimate and intense moments are often neglected – which is completely normal. Try to create special and shared memories on weekends and plan trips together, such as to the zoo, the swimming pool or an adventure forest.
3. Time for two is the be-all and end-all
Even spending time with just one parent can build deep trust and thus strengthen the entire family bond. In many families, the mother spends more time with the child in the early years because the fathers work. It is all the more important that the father has his time with the child and that the mother also finds little time out for herself. This can be one harmonious family dynamics support financially. When I think back to my childhood, I see my father and I flying kites with me, teaching me to ride a bike and climbing trees with me. If I remember this, it immediately gives me a feeling of security and safety. They were special experiences that had a strong impact on me and our relationship, even though he worked a lot.
4. Vacations instead of material gifts
For me, family vacations are like a braid. It gets longer and longer the more vacations you spend together. It becomes more and more solid from vacation to vacation because nothing is as precious as Stress-free family time together. Of course it is often a question of cost! But it can be worth foregoing one or two material gifts and an overcrowded children’s room if instead you would rather save for precious family breaks in distant countries or places.
5. Joint projects as a family
Whether redesigning a room, designing a garden or building a tree house – when children are involved in these types of projects,it greatly promotes trust and togetherness within the family. Small children can feel needed even with tiny tasks. Similar to us adults in our professional lives, this makes them feel seen and valued. How helpful your children’s support is should not be the focus. What is much more important here is the collective time and shared work.
6. Develop similar interests
Such projects, such as collaboration in the allotment garden, often develop common interests, which everyone might share with each other at some point. If harvesting and planting took place in the garden in early childhood, it is quite possible that the family will still get together in the garden many years later, when the children are already grown up. A good reason that the family always gets together in the long term and everyone enjoys discussing a specific hobby. If the whole family loves football or enjoys playing music together, a transparent bond quickly emerges that somehow holds everyone together.
7. Integrate rituals into everyday life
When all family members get together in the evening and everyone can talk about their day, trust among each other is strengthened. This can generally be started early with small children. Parents can develop small family rituals, such as asking your child at bedtime what they particularly enjoyed about the day or what perhaps upset them. Both positive and negative experiences allow children to talk about their feelings. Another valuable question might be what they are looking forward to the next day.
10 pictures
8. Solving problems means: listening
If children fall down and cry, we comfort them and help them get back up. This is a visible pain. But often it is the (from our point of view) small everyday problems where it is important: listening, asking, supporting and taking the little ones and their problems seriously. This can be a dropped cocoa that causes tears to flow, a lost cuddly toy, the first heartbreak or a bad report card. Giving children love and understanding in such moments naturally contributes to general family cohesion. This can create the basis for children years later, when they grow up, to confide in all family members about their problems and seek advice from their closest circle.
9. Arguments happen in the best families
On the other hand, honest cooperation on the part of adults helps children to constantly feel connected and not excluded. A concrete example: an argument breaks out between the parents. This is kept secret from the children. What many don’t believe: Children often notice more than parents expect. You feel the negative vibrations, worries and that something is wrong. And it is absolutely true that not every dispute should be carried out in detail in front of the children. However, it may be advisable to to show occasional discrepancies in front of the children. It is important to remain respectful when dealing with each other and to set an example for your offspring: Mom and Dad will get along again. Arguments and the associated emotions are normal. Siblings argue and get along again. If this is demonstrated early on, in the best case scenario, even at the age of 30, a sibling dispute cannot break the family bond.
10. Give trust
When faced with certain problems, as a child you often seek advice from either one or the other family member. In some things it is the grandma who has an open ear, in others it is the mother who can understand the problem better and reacts more empathetically. What is crucial here is that Not to abuse trust. Care should be taken to ensure that no secrets arise that could later lead to tensions within the family.
11. Unconditional love and acceptance
In a family, everyone should be allowed to be who they are. We all want to be accepted as we are. No matter what your interests, goals, attitudes or life path – whoever shows openness strengthens family stability. And let’s be honest: it’s nice when common hobbies and interests develop, but in the end what defines the family are the small differences and the uniqueness from which all generations can learn something for themselves.
Sources used: kita.de, schule-und-familie.de, focus.de