11 skills every woman should have before she turns 40

11 skills every woman should have by the age of 40

© Getty Images

Were we really scared of turning 40? Maybe because we didn’t know how much wonderful wisdom our wild 20s and (at least the semi-wild) 30s would teach us:

by Marie Stadler

1. We cannot and do not want to be more than the best version of ourselves

Of course, we could still try to walk as sexy as Carry Bradshaw in high heels, as rarely freaking out as our yoga teacher inhaling incense sticks or laughing as subtly as Melania, but what for? We don’t need it anymore!

2. We can just shut up (and we can open it)

Always trumpeting your own truth may be totally authentic, but sometimes it’s still better to keep your mouth shut. Fortunately, we know that and save ourselves a lot of trouble. Unless a truth is worth troubling, then we fight for it like lionesses. A matter of honor! ROOOOAAAAR!

3. Feedback is a gift

What criticism have we had to nibble on in the past? Today we are more pragmatic. We listen, check the content, and then file the lesson under either “good advice” or “bullshit”. 40 years of life experience is enough to tell the difference.

4. We say what we like during sex

“So how was I?” Unfortunately, the guys usually only ask that until they are 20. A little eagerness to learn would not be so bad, even in later years. But it doesn’t matter. We are old enough to say what we like and what we don’t. And that without being asked. So what?

5. We no longer apologize for being us

There is no reason to keep apologizing. Especially not for being who you want to be. Not our problem if we don’t like the others like that.

6. We are no longer ashamed of nonsense

Didn’t manage to get a perfect intimate hairstyle before the gynecologist’s appointment? Britney Spears singing songs and only then noticed the handsome man right next to us? Just got into your bikini with varicose veins, cellulite and bacon? No matter. Shame for nonsense is a waste of time. And at least since Bridget Jones we know: embarrassment is not always bad.

7. Nothing in life is certain

Yes, we have learned this lesson (painfully): We should not take anything in life for granted. Also and above all all the great people around us. You have to take care of them. Love needs attention. Always.

8. Love is work

You have to cultivate a relationship. Hormones only last for months, not years. Fortunately, we now know that and don’t question our relationship after every little quarrel, but rather consider how we can do better in the future.

9. We know that even small things can change your life

After 40 years you should know: life consists of 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it. With this knowledge of how much you have in your own hands, life is so much easier …

10. We are there when you need us (and not there when you don’t need us)

We can be there when we are needed because we can say no to all those who don’t necessarily need us. And because we know that no ticket is too expensive and no train ride is too far, if it means that someone we love is less alone in difficult times.

11. The world does not revolve around us

Motivated bosses, rioting road users and unfriendly neighbors would also be grumpy, rude and unfriendly if we weren’t there at all. Simply because the world isn’t just about us. And that’s really good news once you’ve got over it. If you can do that until your 40th, then everything is really good.