We say some sentences to our children far too often. For example, those that begin with "Stop listening …". And then there are these sentences that would make everything better. If only you would pronounce it again.
1. I understand you
How quickly we tell our children that there is no reason to cry, to be angry, to have a fit of rage or to hit. It would be much wiser to put yourself in it first. An honest "I understand you" opens the door to a much more constructive conversation. Maybe in the end you both understand each other.
2. Do we both want to spend time all alone again?
"Darling, I'm just talking" our children have heard many times. But how about one: "To everyone else out there: Right now I only have time and ears for this one darling, my child. Exclusive."
3. I want to relax now. I have no time.
No, we don't have to force ourselves onto the Lego carpet completely finished. In the end, that's not good for anyone. One thing is clear: "I want to relax now" is not only good for you, but also teaches your child: You can set limits. And you can relax.
4. Please give me some time to think.
Not every question is answered quickly. Sometimes it is worth thinking about it calmly or consulting with someone again before making a decision or having an explanation. Your child will also see that you take the question seriously. This creates trust in your judgment.
5. What do you think about it?
Then they are small and they lack life experience. But that's why they sometimes have a really refreshing view of the world. That makes children great influencers for your life. And it is good for everyone when asked for their opinion.
6. Try it yourself
"No, but I don't want to put on a jacket" A sentence that is not worth a power struggle at minus 3 degrees. "All right, try it out yourself" is so much wiser at this point. Then just put the winter jacket under your arm and off you go. Bet after three seconds in the cold is the jacket on? The sentence is a real miracle cure against power struggles.
7. I'm sorry
We want our children to say it all the time, but we're not the greatest heroes when it comes to apologizing. Are we afraid of weakening our authority? Well, wrong thought, because it's the other way around. Authority radiates people who prove greatness. And children already know: To be honest "I'm sorry" means a lot of size.