How can we grow old – and stay happy? A 99-year-old is going viral with her wisdom, and it’s worth listening.
Mildred Kirschenbaum will be 100 years old in a few months – she lives alone, she still drives a car, writes to her loved ones with her iPhone “and never misses a happy hour”, as “Fox News” writes. In a world where everyone is old become, but not old she is a role model for many – which also explains the enormous popularity and reach of her videos on Instagram and TikTok.
Whoever lives so long does not always walk in bright sunshine. Nevertheless, Mildred manages to enjoy life. How is she able to do that? Inspired by her daughter Gayle, the 99-year-old shares her life wisdom with the whole world – and of course we listen very carefully.
“You have to enjoy life”
In a video her daughter posted on May 30 this year, Mildred reveals what the secret to her happy life is: it’s all a matter of attitude. “I have friends who are 20 years younger, who are 15 years younger – and their attitudes will mean that they will not reach my age,” she says in her video. She knows people who would complain about their food being too cold or that their kids only call them once a week. But these negative perspectives must be reversed, says Mildred. “If the food isn’t quite right, there’s an extra dessert.If you only hear from your kids once a week, that’s fine. Be thankful they are enjoying their lives.”
This way of thinking is probably the reason why she has lived so long, she believes. “You have to enjoy life. You only go through this life once. If you’re getting on in years, do yourself a favor – not your kids, not your friends, not your world, but yourself: enjoy it all. Don’t sit at home whining and moaning and saying, ‘I’m just going to the fridge.’ Do something!” A wisdom that Mildred has not only acquired through age, as she herself says: “If you are not smart when you are young, you only become dumber.”
“Enjoy life” – for some people that may at first sound like a very flat attitude. And certainly, you may have read this appeal very often. But Mildred is not someone who was born lucky. As already said, those who walk the earth for 99 years have by no means only experienced sunny days.
Mother and daughter are also very much concerned with forgiveness
While Mildred’s relationship with her only daughter, Gayle, is now very loving, it wasn’t always like this. “I was the youngest of three children,” she says. “I had two older brothers and my mother was, I can honestly say now at 99, very harsh and abusive with me. I left home very early.” Gayle, an Emmy-winning filmmaker, photographer, writer, coach and speaker, was harshly criticized and bullied by her mother amidst her professional success at the time – from her weight to her nose. Gayle elaborated on the latter in a short film entitled “My Nose,” which tells the story of her mother’s outright campaign to urge her to get a nose job — to no avail, Gayle says.
The film put Gayle on the cover of the Washington Post with the unflattering caption, “If you have a mother like Gayle Kirschenbaum [has]you better get yourself into psychoanalysis.” Mildred’s reaction at the time? Usual positive: “Wow, great. Bad press is better than no press. I’m on the front page of the Washington Post.”
But it was different for Gayle: “I couldn’t go on like this. It affected every aspect of my life.” She realized she would have to forgive her mother, but didn’t know how to do it – “so I went on a journey and made a movie”. Together with her mother, she worked through their common – and Mildred’s – past. The film “Look at Us Now, Mother!” (translated: “Look at us now, mother!”) took a look at the relationship between mother and daughter – and changed it to this day.
“I’ve gotten to a point in life where I’m approaching 100 years old. When I go to bed, I might not wake up,” she says in a video she recorded with her daughter. “I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. But I feel like you did it because we talked. And now I’m trying to forgive myself.
She is believed to be celebrating her 100th birthday at a special family dinner in Orlando. She particularly looks forward to talking to her loved ones: “The greatest gift they can give me is that they all talk to each other when they come to my birthday party. That’s exactly how I feel.”
Sources used: foxnews.com, instagram.com, filmstarts.de