Some orgasms fall like hair on soup, from being too short or too weak. Is it possible to make them grow, to stretch them over time? A question from Sophia, 34, who would like to enjoy “longer”, and to which Caroline Michel, our sex expert, is happy to answer.
It goes without saying that we all like to eat a good ice cream, and that the more there is, the better. At least the fun lasts. With orgasm, it’s a bit the same: enjoyment is pleasant, so why does it have to last five seconds, ten seconds to break everything? Who has never dreamed of a longer orgasm? We understand the question of Sophia, who likes the idea of experiencing stronger but also “lasting” orgasms. Let’s say that the orgasms that go out as quickly as they show, it’s like swallowing whole M&M’s.
I could start by saying that orgasm is good, but it’s not an end in itself. Lhe race to orgasm is exhausting, and thinking about it too much during sex distracts us from the present moment. But when we read that 35%* of French women are not satisfied with their sex life, and that 26%** did not have an orgasm during their last sexual intercourse, we have the right to think that it is too bad and that the orgasm remains something great. So yes, we can think of orgasm and it’s not a whim to want to have fun with it. Simply, where I agree is that it is good, all the same, to take advantage of the path that leads to the climax.
The preliminary steps to jouissance build jouissance
Everything before orgasm must be live mindfully for the simple and good reason that the preliminary stages to jouissance construct jouissance. Let me explain : the stages of the “sexual response”, established in the 60s by the pioneers of modern sexuality, by Masters & Johnson***, participate in orgasm. The stages are: excitement (OK, we see), the plateau phase (there, the pleasure is present and constant), orgasm (the peak), and resolution (we fall back, good night). This schema was revisited by Helen Singer Kaplan in the 1970s. The Austrian-American sex therapist believes that sexual desire is actually the first stage, the one preceding arousal; without desire, no great excitement.
All this to tell you that an orgasm will be more powerful, and potentially longer, if the stages that precede it are experienced with care. Having desire is what sets the tone. Taking the time for excitement then allows us to get into the mood, then take advantage of the plateau phase to raise the mayonnaise “prepares” us to enjoy. In short: to enjoy for a long time, let’s choose not to skip the steps of the sexual response. This is already a first point.
An orgasm will be more powerful, and potentially longer, if the stages that precede it are experienced carefully.
Then I could (yes, that’s a lot of conditionals, but it must be said that the pace of our orgasms depends on a lot of ingredients) offer you the Edging method, which consists of braking just before orgasm so that the it springs up (true from true) in a big way then. Basically: do you feel it going up? Slow down, stay on the plateau, avoid caresses that are too magical, those that will put the turbo on, then, when you feel it, give it your all. If this can work, it’s because the more we take pleasure, the more we secrete neurotransmitters useful to our pleasure, such as dopamine. The more dopamine, the higher and longer the fireworks will go off. So it’s trying.
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Meet your body
Caroline Michel is a journalist in psycho sexo and author. Passionate, she enjoys dissecting everyday life and looking for the right words (which she hopes to find often). She is the author of…