A TikTok video has gone viral and is sparking debate. Experts have answered the question it raises: can we let a child do whatever he wants?
Raising children is often a subject of debate. Do you know the Wu Wei approach? Are you helicopter parents? Do you consider yourself overwhelmed? On TikTok, a video caused a lot of talk. A mother shows her parquet floor with a comment: “Healing my inner child means letting my 2 year old color the kitchen floor while I cook“.
She explains : “She asked me first and I said yes. She tried to ask if she could color the furniture and I said no and she listened. She knows this is only allowed here. But she had the most fun and everything can be cleaned up”. There were many comments: “Saying no won’t hurt your child”, “It doesn’t cure anything other than letting your child lead you“, “This is what’s wrong with children: parents try to be their friends”…
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Experts give their opinion on a TikTok video
Other Internet users are less severe. But what do the experts think? THE HuffPost asked the question to professionals. For Courtney Morgan, founder of mental health therapy practice Counseling Unconditionally, the video is the perfect example of permissive parentingwhich is characterized by “a laxity or absence of periods”. Psychotherapist Ronald Hoang agrees with this analysis on “moms ori”, the parents “focused on their children” and who avoid conflicts.
The advantage of this approach is to encourage your child’s creativity.“which is very important for toddlers”, according to Courtney Morgane. Asking them for their opinion also allows you to get closer to them and reduce “power struggles” according to her. And for Ronald Hoang, it gives them the freedom to be themselves.
But the disadvantages of this style of education are not negligible. It’s not healthy to say “yes” to everything and let them think that they are the center of the universe, that they don’t have to follow rules or respect certain boundaries. For Courtney Morgan, allowing behavior at home but not elsewhere can create confusion for children. She talks about the difficulty in resolving problems, managing one’s emotions in the face of refusal, the creation of conflicts… The child can, for example, draw on the floor of his school, without understanding that this is prohibited.
The key is to find a balance between “yes” and “no” according to experts. Don’t say “yes” to avoid conflict. If you don’t want to slow down his creativity, suggest that he not draw on the floor, which is not made for it, but on another surface. Deflection is a good way to understand the child’s desire while establishing limits and giving him some control.
Editor for Aufeminin since 2022, Charlotte is passionate about cinema, French and international, and a fortune reader. Curious about everything, she talks as much about personalities as…