All parents know: The little ones often have the most surprising sayings in store and delight us in everyday life with the weirdest questions, the most unusual ideas and (mostly) endearing honesty.
We have collected some funny children’s sayings on Twitter.
12 funny tweets about children’s sayings
“One of the best parts of being a parent is when your child is old enough to have deep and meaningful conversations like, ‘Mom, do you know why your makeup always looks so caked?'”
Honesty is and always will be a virtue.
“11-year-old kid: Did you know that the youngest photo of you is also the oldest?
Me: Did you know that I said goodnight to you 30 minutes ago?”
So young and already so wise!
“My husband: I drank so much water today, I keep peeing.
5-Year-Old Stares At Dad’s Belly: Is It Because You’re Pregnant Like Mommy?”
Having to pee is a definite pregnancy symptom!
“We leave the driveway for a two-hour drive to visit family.
My 5-year-old son from the back seat: Don’t turn on the radio, mom. I’ve brought my harmonica so I can play music for you.”
Who can say no to live music?
“Me: Did you have fun with Grandma?
9 year old child: Yes.
Me: What did you do?
9-year-old child: What happens to grandma stays with grandma.”
You don’t have to tell your parents everything!
“5-year-old: You look angry.
Me: I’m not, I’m just reading.
5-year-old: Does reading make you angry?
Me: No, I like reading.
5-year-old: But your face looks angry.
Me: That’s just my normal face.
5-year-old: Looks angry to me.
Me: I AM NOT ANGRY!
5-year-old: But THAT’s your angry face now!”
Kids just know how to drive you nuts.
“My husband watches a sports show: shit!
4-year-old: What’s up dad?
My husband: Nothing, my son.
4 year old, to me: He didn’t say ‘shit’ about anything. Maybe it was a happy ‘shit’.”
We’ve heard that there are supposed to be gradations.
“My daughter, then 5, told me she didn’t want to go out and play.
I said, ‘Why not, dear?’
She replied, ‘Dad, I don’t like talking to people I don’t like. And sometimes I don’t even like talking to people I like.'”
Who can’t relate?
“Daughters are the best.
My now 19-year-old once said to me (when she was nine), ‘Mom, you may be a writer, but you are not the editor of MY life!'”
Here we have a writer-to-be.
“When my youngest was about four, she suddenly belched VERY loudly (it’s a family talent she inherited from her mother).
Anyway, I asked her: ‘What do you say?’
She thought for a few seconds and with a confused look says, ‘Erm…thank you?’
*stunned shake of the head*”
Saying thank you and please is never wrong.
“Me: It’s important that you tell your parents everything.
My 8 year old child: When mom woke up this morning she looked like she was 100 years old.
Me: Whatever you do, don’t tell her.”
Some things are better kept to yourself.
“My two-and-a-half-year-old son saw a unicorn and said, ‘Look! The horse is wearing a party hat!’
And now when I look at a unicorn, I can never see anything else.”
Children simply have the perspective.
“‘Mom. I have bad news. I drank too much water and now I have a tummy ache.’
– My son after eating four cookies.”
Cookies can NEVER be a problem.