Vanessa is a solo mother of 4 children aged 13, 11, 9 and 3, two of whom are disabled. She has been in confinement since Monday, and under normal circumstances, her three older children should have gone to their father's, as part of alternate custody. Unfortunately, the smallest having contracted the virus, they are all quarantined at her home, for at least 21 days. She tells us about her daily life.
“I have 3 boys and a girl. Two of them have disabilities: my daughter is autistic and my 9-year-old son has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, coupled with TOP (provocative opposition disorder). They're all at my house right now, and for at least 21 days, since the youngest was diagnosed with Covid disease yesterday morning. His fever is high and does not drop, he is short of breath, coughs, has a headache, eyes and pleura… We are therefore all in quarantine. Being a medical secretary, I thought I could go back to work this Friday to give my colleague some relief, but that will not be possible.
Being in confinement with 4 children of different ages is folk!
And tiring! It is not so much the confinement that is, but rather the fact that they are all of school age and therefore receive tons of work to do, every day. Besides, I don't know how the teachers do it because, for my part, I can't manage the house, keep the kids busy enough to forget that they want to go out, and school! Two of them are in middle school (5th and 6th), the third in CM1, and the last in a small kindergarten section. All have homework to do. With the bad internet connections that are added to that, even during the day, it is very complicated.
My mother is with us temporarily, and having quite serious pathologies, she cannot take care of children. She can help me out when I need to go to the pharmacy or the bakery, but if not, I have to manage on my own.
How do I keep them busy?
For the moment, homework takes care of distracting them a large part of the time. I tried to practice the "0 screen" during the first days, as they all asked us, except that it must be said: it is just impossible. When I'm with one, I can't be with the other three. When one uses the reader, the other three do not. The little 3-year-old is a bit abusive of cartoons, while I take care of the homework of the big three, but it is not possible otherwise.
Regarding disability, especially that of my daughter who is autistic, I can say that she manages the situation rather well. Unfortunately, this is not the case for all other disabled children. I realize, through the association to which I belong, that the lack of certain foodstuffs can be dramatic for some. Children with certain pathologies including autism, make food fixations and do not want to eat anything other than THIS type of pasta, of THIS brand. I am thinking of the case of three mothers in particular whose children have not eaten for 2 days, it is very problematic.
I'm lucky with mine because she eats everything. It’s more like the change she’s less able to handle, but hey, with mom at home, she’s doing pretty well.
My advice for holding
I don’t really have any advice for parents whose children have disabilities because they are in confinement all year round. Some autistic children can not stand shouting and crowds, for example, so we can not take them out at the same time as others.
And to all the other parents in confinement with your children, I will tell you to stop feeling guilty when you put your kids in front of the screens, because we're not supermen. I keep helping my boss a bit, typing reports, etc. So we can't be teleworking, classing for the professor and taking care of the rest. When our children are different ages, and many parents are, it’s completely impossible to do everything. ”
A big thank you to Vanessa that you can find on her blog or her twitter account.
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