Stephanie is single and has noticed that after a certain age it is no longer that easy to flirt. Above all, this has to do with prejudice.
by Tina Epking (minutes)
She is 36 and single. Actually, there is no need to panic. Even so, some make their situation a real problem. Here Stephanie explains why it actually becomes more difficult to flirt in her mid-30s – and why she no longer wants to be driven crazy because of it.
“After breaking up with my ex after ten years of relationship, I immediately thought: There’s nothing more, I’ll never have children. I also accused him of that when we split up. I was panicked, I thought I have missed my chance.
So of course I wanted to get to know someone again immediately, because I had got used to always being two, making decisions as a couple and not having to cope with life alone. That’s why I signed up for an online dating platform. My mom said to me when I was crying again about my fate: “You don’t radiate at all that you are at peace with yourself. Men smell that. They know that they shouldn’t get involved with you at the moment.”
“Everyone thinks I want a child right now”
I still flirted a lot and when I was in my early 30s it was okay for men too. Most of the time I’ve even got to know younger men, which surprised me a lot, because they’d have to understand earlier that my clock is ticking. It didn’t matter to them, they didn’t want anything serious – and neither did I at first.
But I think that after a breakup after such a long time you don’t have the right antennas or that men have exactly the antennas that they shouldn’t get involved with me. But it only got more difficult since I was in my mid-30s. Because everyone thinks I want a child right now.
“It gets especially tough when I’m with my family”
I love children and I am always happy when I visit my friends who have children and can play with them. Now I’m also the aunt of a little boy and very much in love with him. It gets especially tough when I’m with my family. Then I realize again that I have no children myself, even though I’m 36. The others let you feel that too. That bothers me and makes me sad too.
Unfortunately, it is not socially accepted that as a woman you have no children after a certain age. Men are the career-oriented alpha animals, women are just pitiful. When it comes to flirting, it doesn’t get any easier either. Men automatically think that I want to start a family because I’m of a certain age. You can already feel that. Basically, I can understand that, but it also made me more and more insecure about dates. I knew that no guy wants a woman who is desperately looking for. That only changed when I changed my approach to being single.
“It’s always about how you get to know a new guy”
Because all of this annoyed me so much, I got more and more into the topic of #singeleshaming: The lack of acceptance that single women can be happy. And for me, after all my experiences as a single woman, I decided that I’m happy and really don’t need a man for that. So I am on mine too Podcast came. It annoyed me that singles podcasts were always about how to meet a new guy. I wanted to do a podcast for all women who like to be single because they can celebrate their lives and do what they want.
Nevertheless, I would like to have a partner, that doesn’t have to be a contradiction in terms. I haven’t given up hope that one day I might have a family and have children, but I’m not panicked about it at all. Something I can feel in some other single women. In my opinion, this only has something to do with a lack of self-love. They cannot assume that they are sufficient for this world by themselves. Which is very sad. What should women do if they cannot have children? Who might have had a serious illness?
“I regularly round up my single friends”
The single woman is the pitiful being in society. This has to end and we can only do that if we stick together single women – and women in general. How do I do that? I have a lot of single women in my circle of friends and often drum them all together to picnic, go swimming or whatever. It’s funny even without a man – and you don’t have to panic. Not us – and also no men we could possibly get to know. ”
flirten_singlefemalehappy Stephanie’s podcast is called “Single Female Happy Go”. You can find him on Spotify and iTunes Find. It’s all about what is fun as a single woman – and not how best to get to know the next man.