Nearly three-quarters of French people over the age of 18 who use dating sites admit to having inquired about, or even having stalked online, a person they met on social networks, according to a recent study conducted by Norton LifeLock.
Data that reflects the new state of mind that inhabits a large majority of users of these applications. The scheme has become usual, especially on Tinder or Happn. During a “match” with another user, it is common to go to the Internet and social networks in order to find out who you are dealing with. But if finding out about a person is a normal step, switching to stalking is more worrying.
“As long as it is a question of seeking information that is publicly visible on the Internet, we can say that it remains virtuous, but as soon as we start to recover private information without the knowledge of the person, we can talk about stalking”, specifies for CNEWS Catherine Lejealle, sociologist and researcher at ISC Paris.
According to the Norton Lifelock study, carried out in ten countries, more than a third of the French respondents (36%) declare that they have done research by entering the name of their correspondent in a search engine, while 21% will consult professional profiles on sites like LinkedIn. One in five (22%) even go so far as to seek out the person’s friends and family on social media.
But more worryingly, 6% say they have paid a third party to obtain information on a person’s background or obtain information on their previous encounters via the applications. “In the past, some people used private detectives for classic romantic encounters, but in the era of dating apps you need an additional degree of technicality that people don’t have,” says Catherine Lejealle.
A sometimes reductive composite portrait
Above all, the study shows that seeking information, or even stalking a person, can sometimes be detrimental to the meeting. Thus, more than half of the users of dating sites affirm that they “give up physically meeting their “match” as soon as a detail found on the Internet does not please them”. A photo showing that a person smokes or that they practice a particular sports activity, that they seem too big or too small… These are examples that can change everything.
“Instead of meeting the person and giving them a chance, or even saying to themselves that an embarrassing detail may not ultimately be embarrassing, we will again leave the hand to the Internet to form an opinion. In this sense, dating sites have failed to provide trust. But this is consistent with the rest, because love is constructed differently today. When they go to a restaurant, young people do not feel that the place is nice or that the cocktail is nice, they have to share what they are experiencing on social networks so that others can pass judgment. Their own feelings are challenged. We are less able to decide for ourselves. In addition, there is a pool of candidates for love such that people will be more demanding, ”analyzes the sociologist.
Stalkers especially among young adults
And among the champions of stalking, it is the young generation that appears in the lead. Of those surveyed across the 10 countries surveyed, nearly two-thirds of Gen Z adults (65%) “admit to have inquired about their (current or former) partner. There are only 57% for Generation Y, 29% for Generation X and 11% for baby boomers, ”says the document.
“The typical stalker profile is a young man. There are three times more in men than in women. Stalking has become commonplace among 18-39 year olds who are more tech-savvy. There is often a life course. We can become a stalker because we want to become more vigilant, these are in particular people disappointed by bad experiences and who want to protect themselves”, underlines Catherine Lejealle. Fake profiles and scams are particularly notorious, as demonstrated by the recent documentary “The Tinder Scammer” on Netflix.
So how do you guard against stalking? It starts with the question of identity. Four out of five people have already used their full name on dating sites, according to the study. And if certain applications are linked to your Facebook profile, such as Tinder and Happn, other applications offer to assign a number to introduce a form of neutrality, the idea being already to share one’s interests and what we don’t want to, but these are paid services. “Not sharing your exact location, not receiving at home during the first meeting, but also managing what you share on social networks by taking precautions are advice to follow,” concludes Catherine Lejealle.