dream, reality or injunction?

What do we know about multiple orgasm? That it exists, a priori, and that it is even accessible to women while men only have to get dressed. From there, we do not know much else and multiply the questions (if not orgasms): how to cum several times? What to do or not to do? Can all women cross seventh heaven seven times? And basically, is it so important? Who only enjoys once takes less pleasure? We take stock.

The clitoris, the magic organ that explains everything (or almost)

It should be remembered from the outset that female orgasms originate above all from the clitoris. The clitoral orgasm VS vaginal orgasm dichotomy is therefore no longer relevant – and so much the better, because it was a source of complexes. We know, in fact, that the clitoris extends inside the body for about ten centimeters and envelops the vagina in its bulbs. This point of intersection, or point of hug, one could say, is none other than point G. But it is not strictly speaking a precise point, but rather an area which, when it is stimulated, provides pleasure and leads to orgasm. Of course, we can always speak of vaginal pleasure and vaginal orgasm insofar as, sometimes, we come during penetration; at that point, the pleasure comes from within. External caresses on the glans of the clitoris will then let us think that the pleasure comes from … the outside. Why tell all this? Because becoming aware of the female anatomy amounts to opening the door to female pleasure, and because hearing that the clitoris is a bit the star (but be careful, let's not neglect the rest of the body) of jouissance, it is understand that to achieve multiple orgasms, you must first understand … the clitoris.

Orgasms, yes, but with or without a break?

We know that men have a refractory period after ejaculation. This is a physiological break, and this break depends on your age – the older you get, the more you rest, but also on the current state of mind, the state of fatigue … each man has his refractory period. But are women going through a refractory period too? The clitoris, under the effect of arousal and pleasure, becomes erect, suggesting that, like men, it needs a break. Only, in this regard, studies are sorely lacking. It is the testimonies and feedback that feed the reflection and allow us to observe several scenarios: some women, after orgasm, feel the need to stop everything; their clitoris is sensitive and the caresses become unpleasant. For others, a few minutes are enough to set off again. Finally, for still others, no break is possible, the stimulation of the sex remains pleasurable and the orgasms multiply. The pitfall in all of this is where the subjectivity begins: if a woman reports getting multiple orgasms while taking a break, can we really talk about multiple orgasms? Should we start from the principle that the notion of multiple orgasm only exists without a refractory period? Is there a maximum “pause time” that would mean that here we have come down so low that the next orgasm will be new, unique, and not the little brother of the previous one?

Tips for achieving a multiple orgasm

A multiple orgasm, in the singular therefore, would be an orgasm that multiplies and leaves – one imagines – little time between each ascent. Certainly. But from there, how do you actually try? How to discover the joys of multi-orgasm? Several tips for meeting … the first!

• If we feel the need to take a break, we take it. But we can continue the report while avoiding the genital area, which has just suffered a happy earthquake. So we let her come to her senses and enjoy, with her or her partner, a moment of tranquility, complicity and caresses, considering the rest of the body: buttocks, stomach, chest, neck …
• You can try – the idea is sexual exploration – to practice penetration, especially if you have just enjoyed external caresses. Since the glans of the clitoris is sensitive at that time (of course, it depends on each woman), we can go and titillate it via the vagina and the famous G-spot area (we did well to talk about anatomy) .
• We learn to connect to our feelings, by playing with our five senses, that is, focusing on touch, smell, hearing … What is going on in my body? What am I feeling? What do I hear? This mindfulness exercise can increase sexual pleasure tenfold and increase the ability to come multiple times.
• We breathe. Yes, we often forget to breathe, in life as during sex. However, breathing is a key to sexual pleasure, it allows you to invest your body and your sensations, to release the pressure, to surrender.
• We can, for the curious, use sextoys, which offer a "different way" of … What? To touch, to caress, to vibrate, to give. It does not mean that the partner does not count or does not come out, just that the multiple orgasm is nourished by various and varied sensations. In other words, the surprise and changing effect offered by sex toys (just as a language is surprising and changing when it arrives after a hand, fingers, a penis) can eventually awaken new pleasures and therefore reopen the door. of orgasm.
• We dare to masturbate: if multiple orgasm is obviously accessible as a couple, it is always interesting to explore alone. Why ? Because the stimulation is direct: we break as we like, and we enjoy a few games (acceleration, slowing down, positive frustration …). So you can also do without a male or female boost and have fun with yourself.
• We think of inviting his perineum: this muscle (and which is actually a set of muscles) surrounds the vagina and plays a role in sexual pleasure. Knowing how to contract it and then release it increases internal stimulation of the clitoris, but also the degree of enjoyment, since during orgasm, the muscles contract. Taking care of your perineum therefore means taking care of your sexual health.
• We don't get impatient, we don't get angry: every woman is different, every body is different. Experience plays a crucial role in self-discovery and pleasure. We can see that multiple orgasm is more the prerogative of older women, but again, this is relative. Simply put, it is rarer to get multiple orgasms at twenty than at forty, the age at which you know your body better.

See as well : what happens in your body at the time of orgasm

Video by Clara Poudevigne

Multiple orgasm: don't run after (and be surprised)

This last tip should be developed here: to reach multiple orgasm, it is better not to fixate. And it already works with the "solo" orgasm: the more you think about enjoying, the more you are likely to turn away from orgasm, because before discovering the top of the scale, there is the route, the journey, the sensations step by step. So yes, it is good to let yourself be rocked and picked up by the pleasure that leads to orgasm without projecting an orgasm at all costs. With multiple orgasm, it's the same: looking for it too much is taking the risk of getting tired, of becoming complex, of wondering if "we are normal". So here it is, it is the concern of this multiple orgasm which does not go without reminding us of the active search for the G-spot which, for years, has shaken our fingers and our mirrors, or the mystery of the fountain woman who suggests that we all have the capacity to "spring up" day and night. While it is interesting to approach your sexuality as a vast field of discovery and possibility, it should be remembered that all of these "goals" are a source of pressure. We can therefore ask ourselves why? Why do we want to become multi-orgasmic? For pleasure ? To impress his partner? Because it says in the books? Because it seems "is better"? But better than what? Than a single orgasm? Why would a single orgasm be less intense? Answering these questions and grasping the injunction represented by multiple orgasm according to the statements, speeches, advice and tips that revolve around it remains the best way to enjoy "frankly", that is to say for oneself , with oneself, in one's body, with love and with the other. And to cum "frankly" without checking the boxes, is to take the bet of sincere, better orgasms, and who knows … many.

Books to think, learn … and have fun (both feminine and masculine!)

Sex Lab, good news about female pleasure, Elisa Brune, Odile Jacob editions
The joys from below, Nina Brochmann and Ellen Stokken Dahl, Actes Sud editions
How to have sex all night long, male multiple orgasm, Dr Barbara Keesling, Albin Michel editions
Between my lips my clitoris, confidences of a mysterious organ, Alexandra Hubin and Caroline Michel, Eyrolles editions