Anyone who has children has leftovers. Our author Christiane Börger eats them herself so that they don't end up in the trash. But now it's over!
It's a long story. It starts with my eldest's first porridge. Because I already have a preference for mushy food (rice pudding, mashed potatoes and cake batter), I didn't mind spooning leftovers out of fruit and spaghetti Bolognese glasses. It would have been a shame! But the matter has taken on a life of its own. Five years later and four kilos heavier, I eat gnawed sausage sandwiches from kindergarten bags, collect noodles under the dining table and put little peas in my mouth, which my boys dissected from lunch. I have become the family's residual waste bin. This realization is not nice. In fact, it's a little degrading. I hardly dare to tell, but the other day I accidentally ate yellow dough. It was on the table and looked like a small piece of potato. You can guess the rest … After this experience, I vowed not to eat any more leftovers. Because throwing it away is not an option for me, a lot should change in our life, especially in the area of leftovers.
Family conference
Because my children are responsible for this, I called a family conference. I appealed to their minds, using means I had sworn never to unpack. I told stories of hungry children in Africa who could live a whole year on our leftovers alone. My children looked in disbelief. At least Xaver tried to make a connection between his life and that of the children in Africa. "Is Africa also on Lake Constance?" He asked. It was no use.
Maybe a dog would be the solution. It works great with friends of ours: after every main meal you send it under the table and the arbor is ready. Josef prefers a chicken, however, dogs scare him. The other day he had a fit of rage at the sight of an empty egg carton. What did I do with the egg that he needs for rearing !? Apart from the fact that we don't have enough space for a chicken in our townhouse, it might be worth a try: chickens apparently like to eat leftovers just as much as dogs. And a chicken doesn't shed hair, which also makes it likeable. But I digress.
French fries with fries
So what to do If it were up to my children, we would switch to a mono-diet: naked pasta, french fries with french fries, maybe a piece of paprika, but without salad dressing! I am sure: if I got involved in this deal, there would never be anything left with us. My demands on the everyday kitchen are not excessively high, but it should be a bit more balanced.
So I continue to cook things that my children don't like, but that I find healthy and then of course stay there. A frustrating cycle, but apparently completely within the framework: American researchers have determined that children on average only eat 60 percent of what they put on their plates. This scientific knowledge somehow calms me down. It is quite normal for children to eat too much and also like things that they don't really like. My personal empiricism confirms this. The other day Josef was sitting in front of his full plate, tears were running down his head. "I had imagined the rice pan to be completely different."
What should I say to that? I took his plate – and ate it empty.
This article originally appeared on Eltern.de.