Editorial reveals
"That annoyed me the most about my ex-boyfriend"
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An ex-boyfriend is no longer part of our lives for a reason. As sad as the separation may have been – today we are secretly happy to have got rid of some annoying characteristics …
Oh yes, there are reasons why we prefer to put the syllable "Ex" in front of some partners. When you are in love, the rose-colored glasses cloud some eyes. So it can happen that we break up, go through lovesickness and heartbreak – and at some point look back anyway and ask ourselves: "What the hell has ridden us there?"
Mistakes happen to the best of us. And somehow they are part of it. Because with each partner we learn more about ourselves, our needs and what we actually expect from a relationship. Above all, at some point we know what we don't want. And as long as we are in the middle of it, we like to overlook things that actually bother us – or just don't want to see them …
Hand on heart: What really annoyed you about your ex-boyfriend?
Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a little time and a little distance before our vision clears up again. If you're going through a breakup, our stories should cheer you up. Because acute still helps against lovesickness to become aware of the bad qualities of your partner – and to be happy that you got rid of them.
So we in the editorial team allowed ourselves to blaspheme a little. Or as we call it: throwing off emotional baggage. Don't get us wrong: Of course, nobody is perfect and everyone has their own quirks – just like we do. Our exes could probably write at least as long a list about us. That's okay.
Of course we don't want to hurt anyone. That's why we prefer to remain anonymous in this series.
Editors unpack: That really annoyed us about our ex-boyfriend …
My ex-boyfriend didn't think it necessary to shower more than twice a week. He said he just didn't have any body odor. That wasn't entirely true. Since love also goes through the nose, as is well known, I was soon in mom-moaning mode and had to remind him every day to please shower – at least for me. Since the priorities were apparently elsewhere, I ran away – I was fed up.
He was pretty stingy. I didn't find that sexy at all. You don't have to throw money around too much. But skimpy, although you don't really have to, sometimes leads to missing beautiful moments of pleasure. Too good!
My ex-boyfriend was a drama queen. Everything, really everything, was bad. Or stressful. Or extremely dangerous. Or absolutely impossible. Suggested solutions were dismissed, sometimes I even had the impression that he really got into the everyday drama! After all, he held up a mirror to me and I myself have become much more relaxed today.
What particularly annoyed me about my ex-boyfriend was that he always said yes and amen to everything and never "no!" I could probably have asked what I wanted, but I didn't take advantage of the situation.
An ex-boyfriend of mine stood out in two extremes: I've never been able to laugh so much with anyone – but on the other hand, I've never argued so much and so much with anyone … endless discussions that lasted for hours, and where nothing came out in the end! That was sometimes so unnecessary and it really annoyed me … in that respect we just didn't harmonize well. I still miss laughing with him …
The pickiness about my last ex annoyed me. Everything had to be exactly in its place, in his kitchen I could only do everything wrong, I wasn't even allowed to equip his dishwasher, "because everything has its place there, as is well known." At some point I felt like a small child and I stopped participating cooking, because apparently I wasn't doing anything right anyway. Not a good feeling.
My ex-boyfriend was an all-time yes-man. He said yes to everything and was always nice. Way too nice. Of course, I had to face the crisis at some point. I am a person in need of harmony myself, but that was a size too big for me. No matter what I said, did or didn't do. It wasn't a problem at all. We never argued. And that's exactly what annoyed me incredibly at some point. I never expected it, but no argument is no solution either. At least for me …
My ex-boyfriend came from a difficult family background and had never cultivated his friendships. When we first met, he hardly had anyone close to him and didn't even try to change that. Very different from me: I have a wonderful family and a small group of friends. My ex didn't like it at all – he thought a relationship was all about each other and nobody else. He clung to me, expecting me to just focus on him and neglect my other relationships. Whenever I met a friend, he would pout. Within a very short time, I felt completely suffocated and after several unsuccessful discussions about it, I finally ended the relationship.
Now it's your turn: What really annoyed you about your ex-partner? Feel free to exchange ideas with our community in our relationship forum – and together we will survive even the greatest heartbreak.