Financial violence against women: “Giving men all the responsibility is also unfair”

Financial violence against women
“Giving men all the responsibility is also unfair”

December 26, 2023, 1:04 p.m

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When partners abuse their financial dependence, they commit violence. She still mainly meets women. In an interview, Nataschawegelin explains why it is fatal not to want to deal with finances and how couples can compensate for financial difficulties.

ntv.de: When people use physical violence, they strike. Financial violence can also be carried out, especially in a couple relationship. Where does this form begin?

Nataschawegelin: Financial violence is always exercised when monetary dependence is exploited. It is therefore a form of abuse of power. Financial dependence can be okay for both parties if partners agree that one stays at home and the other takes care of the children, for example. This type of teamwork is not inherently bad. However, the moment one partner exploits this dependency, financial violence is exercised.

How can this be prevented?

In order not to be financially dependent on your partner, I advise everyone to have their own account. If a couple decides to have a joint account, both must have access to it. If this is not the case and someone is denied access, then this is a form of exploitation. Dependency is abused here. But it is also financial violence, for example, when a partner intercepts letters from the tax office, additional income is concealed or a husband no longer pays child support to his ex-wife. The solution can be, for example, not to forego having your own account and to work, even if it doesn’t make much financial sense for the family at first glance. Just to continue paying into the pension fund.

Who is particularly often exposed to financial violence?

There are hardly any studies and statistics on the topic. In order for someone to abuse their power, they must first have more power than their partner. And in our system that is more often the man than the woman. A single mother who waits for her child support every month is the most likely to experience financial violence. One of the few studies that deals with the topic has found that of those suspected of violating maintenance obligations in 2021, around 94 percent are men and 6 percent are women.

Is financial violence always carried out consciously?

On the one hand, there are certainly couples who are not aware that there is financial violence in their relationship. For them, for example, it is completely normal that the man takes care of the finances and the woman does not have her own account. Some of them may simply lack financial literacy. I would like to believe that no one intentionally commits financial violence. But if we define financial violence in such a way that dependence is intentionally abused, then economics on an equal footing is not desired. If a man denies his wife access to the joint account and instead pays her pocket money, then he has no interest in equality

Violence is a strong word. Is the term accurate?

I think so. Injustice that is done to women is often trivialized through language. Then there is talk of ‘violence against women’ or ‘domestic violence’. The male perpetrators are not even named here. That’s why I think the harsh term ‘financial violence’ is a lot better than ‘financial injustice’. If someone is exploited and has no chance of freeing themselves from it, then that is violence

Are those affected aware that violence is being done to them?

This is where I think the problem lies. Many of those affected are not even aware that injustice is happening to them. I fear that some women allow themselves to be handled too much and don’t stand up for themselves enough. At the same time, they are clearly the victims and should not allow themselves to be persuaded that it is their own fault.

Are younger women more immune to financial violence than older women?

Certainly a very traditional distribution of roles, as modeled for us by our parents and grandparents, plays a role in financial violence. If monetary dependence cannot be avoided at all, women should at least protect themselves legally and watertight through a marriage or partnership contract.

Many women say they don’t want to deal with finances at all.

This is an absolute denial of responsibility. It’s not enough for one person in the relationship to deal with finances. I would like to appeal to all women: it is your responsibility. You are independent people. There is certainly a lot of fear in this attitude of refusal. But men are not inherently more qualified. You are not born with an innate financial gene. Giving men all the responsibility is also unfair. Keeping track of all your finances is a pretty big responsibility.

What role does financial education play? There are now more and more offers that are aimed specifically at women.

Financial education is clearly the way out of financial violence. However, if a mother’s ex-partner has not paid maintenance for five months, the first step is probably to go to a lawyer. Even a financial book is of no use. Without an existential threat, financial education is of course extremely helpful in standing on your own two feet. The special offers for women in particular are good places to go to break up a dependency: through my own account, through my own assets, through my own pension insurance and through the fact that my name is in the land register.

How can couples compensate for financial difficulties?

Ideally, the woman has assets in her own name. In addition, the three-account model can ensure transparency. This model states that income or parental allowance ends up in a joint account. Rent, groceries or vacations are paid for from this account. Whatever is left is divided fairly between the individual accounts. This money is then freely available to everyone. If a couple is interested in building a relationship on equal terms, then that’s obvious to me.

Juliane Kipper spoke to Nataschawegelin