Let's face it – I was a beast until my youngest son was born. A know-it-all mother before the gentleman, a self-proclaimed educational expert, a self-made guru … at least in my head. Fortunately, I mostly kept it to myself, sometimes not. How did I get the idea to eat wisdom with spoons? I just had a very good daughter. I thought it was the result of our – ok, especially my – parenting skills. The truth is: this girl is just like that. She is inquisitive, social, ambitious, loves broccoli, maths homework and has secretly set the breakfast table alone at the age of 4 to surprise us. Sounds unlikely? But it is so. But now I know: That would probably be the case if she had raised herself completely. Or, to put it a little more graciously: It was a very fertile soil for every miserable attempt at education.
I am forgiven for every self-righteous thought
In any case, I didn't really strap it on. I liked to give wise nutritional advice, I liked to work in mom groups as a hobby psychologist, sleep advisor and super nanny. Then my son came into the world and with him the cruel realization that I had ridiculed me properly. To make a long story short, if my son doesn't feel like it, he doesn't feel like it. Whatever it's about. He thinks sharing is self-giving, without bribery he doesn't even try to learn new things, and he thinks of fruit and vegetables as much as of the words "please" and "thank you". He belches with preference and has a great weakness for joke jokes. There may also have been a mix-up with Prince George at the children's dispensary, because my son's royal attitudes could be difficult for a twenty-person servant to handle. Possibly!
They are what they are
So after almost six years, it's time to say sorry. And really. I apologize to the universe and each parent for all the "I-wouldn't-let-me-that-I-have-it-all" thoughts, for my willing monologues that others may feel bad for, and for this serene # perfectmom charisma that I showed. I bow humbly to everyone who didn't tear me up in the air and let me think I was capable of it. I know I didn't have it. Because what I didn't understand at the time: The greatest achievement of parents is not to make their own children what they can never be, but to love them as they are. Which does not mean that you have no care for the upbringing – don't get it wrong. But children are not born as blanks. One child listens to you, the other does not. You want to like one child, the other likes yourself enough. It's that easy. Our influence is limited. I am absolutely certain of that today.
My son is as great as my daughter
But the craziest insight my son taught me is: love for your own children is unconditional. And completely. I love this guy from top to bottom, every weirdest thing about him, yes, even his imaginary Prince George crown and the crazy kacka jokes. It was a hard lesson he taught me, but it is the most beautiful textbook of my life! Speaking of textbook: I would rather not write any about education. Others may be better at it. The only mother tip that I can still give with a clear conscience is this: never be too sure to do everything right. You never know what it would be like with another child. Perfect moms are not the ones who always have an answer, but the ones who do not doubt their children when they are completely wrong. You can be wrong and still completely right. And this wisdom is probably worth more than any educational advice.