secret book and co.
This is how you can give your friendship new impetus
© Carlos Barquero / Adobe Stock
As a child it seemed so easy, new friends were made quickly and old ones just kept coming over. However, the older you get, the fewer these spontaneous friendships happen. And maintaining contact with existing favorite people becomes an additional task. We’ll show you four ways to rekindle friendships. We learned them in our childhood.
Finding friends is one thing, maintaining friendships is quite another. Especially in our stressful adult life with big and small decisions, bills that need to be paid and maybe even children who need to be looked after, friendships sometimes get lost. They are so important to get out of the whirlpool of tasks and to be able to switch off.
Why not just ask if you want to be friends
It used to seem a bit easier with friends, didn’t it? And if you didn’t know exactly whether to call each other friends now, you just wrote a note: Do you want to be my friend? Yes, no – tick. Later, these notes were even useful if you wanted to land a steady friend, but that’s another story.
So why not just ask today? As adults, we tend to overthink things. We think about how the other person will find us. Can we call this friendship now? What level are we actually at? Before your head smokes, just ask, that breaks the ice and clearly shows that you are at the point to call the other person your friend. Maybe it just needed that one nudge.
A little more spontaneity suits us
Spontaneity is a rare commodity in everyday adult life. If you used to just walk over to your best friend, ring the bell and ask if he:she could come out to play, you now get caught up in a bunch of appointments and then find a suitable day in three months. Sometimes it just helps to be spontaneous again. Does the friend live nearby? Then just drop by him:her. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, you can pick up the phone and ask what he/she is doing.
Maybe it’s okay to get together for a little chat at short notice – and if it’s only an hour, at least you’ve spent that together. With friends who live further away, it is sometimes worth the spontaneous call. If nobody answers, at least you tried.
A common hobby can strengthen the friendship
In sports clubs, horseback riding or in the chess club – friends were often found through common hobbies. Starting a hobby together as adults or reviving an old one can bring us closer together. The good thing is: You have regular appointments where you definitely see each other. So maybe get back in the saddle, dig up your fishing rod or tennis racket from the basement. Or you start something completely new together. How about a painting course, walking or dog sports? Whether during, before or after – there will definitely be time for a little chat.
A secret book gives new impetus
As children we had poetry albums and so-called secret books. These were simple notebooks that you creatively painted and only had with a friend. They took turns writing in the book, as if secret letters were being exchanged. Who were you in love with? Who gave you a weird look again and which teacher is actually the worst?
This little tradition can also be brought into adult life. Especially if you don’t see each other that often, it’s a nice alternative to participate in more everyday thoughts and processes. Or maybe you want to address something important, but don’t know exactly how, then the written form is also a good idea. Sometimes it is easier to put your thoughts and feelings in writing. And last but not least, your shared memories will be saved in this booklet. It’s a bit like writing a journal, except another person answers.