No clichés, please: but if amore is on the agenda, it’s probably better to invite an Italian. The one most in demand at the moment said Sì
Barbara: Giovanni! What was the last thing you did for love?
Giovanni: I do almost everything out of some kind of love, but if you really want to know: driving a car last night.
Okay … I would have liked to explain that now.
My daughter is eight and she wraps me completely around her finger. She said to me yesterday: “Dad, you’re going to pick me up from school tomorrow, aren’t you?”
So far, so normal.
But yesterday I was in Munich on business and she is here at home in Cologne. And instead of floating comfortably into Cologne by plane this afternoon, as planned, I ordered a rental car last night and drove. I was home at four in the morning.
Ooohhhh… Giovanni, I understand that so well. You can’t love her enough. I also have an eight year old girl that I could kiss all day. She’s really made the world a better place since she’s been around.
Your world?
The whole world. By the way, there’s a quote about love that I’ve had to think about a bit lately.
Out with it!
Okay: “Love is not made of the moments when we breathe, but of those when it takes our breath away.” who said it
phew No idea. Bob Dylan?
Nice try. No, it was Will Smith. Or rather his role in “Hitch – The Date Doctor”.
Haha, not bad… I saw the movie, can’t remember the quote. Maybe because I’m spontaneously not sure if it’s true.
How so?
Because you only need these moments in the beginning, the breath taking is the fuel for what eventually develops. But for the love of my wife I need my air.
I just got stuck on this sentence because, even after more than twelve years of marriage, I experience such moments again and again. When my husband comes down the stairs…
Doesn’t it need more?
Well, he’s really good at walking down the stairs. Or get out of the car, come into the room – I’m happy every time.
How nice. And vice versa?
So, let’s assume that, right? Although: He wants to break the habit of saying goodbye to him every time I leave the house – he is currently working from home and doesn’t want to be constantly disturbed. But then I just tell him I’ll never stop.
Don’t do that either. That would be unimaginable for us anyway. It’s cheesy, romantic, in love, all the time. Almost as soon as I leave the house we start texting each other about how much we miss each other.
And that after 16 years of marriage in show business. I can already see that true love is involved.
Yes, and it’s not getting any less because we’re really … well: nice to each other. But perhaps more importantly, we are never disrespectful.
Does that mean you never fight?
Yes, of course. My wife is Brazilian, I’m Italian, we’re stereotypically intense, we can both be spirited. But we always respect each other and never say things we regret and can’t take back. What is your secret of success?
It is the deep inner conviction that there is no one in the whole wide world I would rather spend time with. And I just know that there is no man I would think would be a seriously conceivable alternative.
No one?
Not one where I would think through the consequences to the end. So: Divorce, losing your husband, but also the whole family and the life that comes with it – I find that so unimaginable. There can be no such thing. The seams on the pants make the difference.
What does that stand for now?
I believe: for perfection. I think he’s perfect down to the seam, and that in turn represents that I love this man to the core of his core. everything about him How he walks, how he sits, how he looks, how he crosses his legs… And then there’s something else.
Even more? For real?
Yes. I always think: He would flatten everyone when it came down to it. He’s the smartest person I know, and he’d save me from any burning house… Yes, I’ll admit it: I’m also susceptible to physical strength.
My brother and I were just chatting about this. He asked me: Fra, what is the most important thing you can give a woman?
question
Italian short form for brother. Anyway, I told him: Safe. For yourself, for the family.
Before we get into trouble: I hope you don’t mean the material security that men are supposed to take care of?
No, Janaína can do it herself, she has always been and still is successful in what she does. I mean the certainty of being able to do this with two children and the expectations and needs of a family. And I had real doubts at the beginning that I could give her what she needs.
As the?
The year after we got married in 2005, my band Bro’Sis broke up, and that was followed by two or three difficult years for me because I didn’t really know what to do next. With Janaína, on the other hand, things went really well. So I asked myself: What if she wants children now – can I ensure stability? I’ve thought a lot about it, and the topic has kept me very busy.
Even though it wasn’t actually an issue at all?
Yes, but it was in my head. I wanted to be the man she could count on in every way, just like my dad was the man my mom could count on for life. Today I am that man, 100 percent. And Janaína knows that I would protect my family like a lion if it came down to it. And I think it’s wonderful that you talk about your husband in a similar way.
With one difference: I would never think that I was looking for security. I pulled that out of myself. But maybe there is something to it, in an unconscious, an ideal way.
I don’t just mean the feeling: nothing will happen to me here. Instead, this one won’t break. That can stay, forever.
Then we mean the same thing. Because emotionally I feel exactly this security in my relationship. And I’m really happy about them, because I haven’t had them in my life for a long time.
How do you mean?
Well, I’ve tried many things in love. And I found out: I don’t want one, neither the other, not this one anyway… I used to always look for something different, I found men exciting who were the complete opposite of me. But that drove me insane after three months.
And then?
I’ve noticed how nice it is when you set the same priorities. If you want to organize the day in a similar way. You don’t have to constantly worry about whether you’re going on holiday to the sea or to the mountains.
It’s always a question of timing. I met Janaína back in 2001. But I wanted to let it rip, and she was probably in a different mood than today. If we had gotten together back then, that wouldn’t have lasted in life.
You still needed a few laps to romp around on the dog park.
Exactly. And that’s what I find crazy: It’s possible that there’s just that one person out there for you – but you also have to meet him at a time when it’s suitable for both of you.
And what you want from life is more or less the same.
Yes, share the same values, otherwise the air will be thin.
What would that be for you?
Family. As an example: If I didn’t get along with Janaína’s mother, it would certainly put a strain on our relationship. The same way if she didn’t get along with my parents – unimaginable.
But she loves your parents.
Yes! And that’s part of the root system that keeps me hoping to be with this woman until I close my eyes forever. The children, shared experiences, our value system: all roots that you cannot easily remove. In the best case: not at all. I look forward to growing old with her. I see her the way you see your husband.
You mean the thing with the pants seam?
Exactly. I love how Janaína dresses, how she makes sandwiches, how she looks…
Nice try Giovanni. Everyone loves how your wife looks. Even by objective standards, it is nothing but perfect.
Okay, right… That might not count then.
Yes it does. But since you just mentioned Mama and Papa Zarrella: That too is a great love.
That’s correct. They both moved from Italy to Hechingen as children, in the deepest part of Swabia. They got together as teenagers and still are. But for both of them, family comes first. Do you know what they did a few years ago?
What then?
They have spent almost their entire lives in Hechingen, where they met, fell in love, got married, had children and ran a restaurant. They were ingrained there. But we decided in 2011: The family has to live in the same place, basta. And then said: Giovanni, we’re moving to Cologne with you. Even my brother and sister came along.
Wow.
Exactly. It was a dream for me, but I was also totally scared: They give up everything, come here, but I’m always on the road, and then they sit here alone and at some point they ask themselves whether it was worth it, their life up to now, to give up their restaurant. That was my fear.
And then?
Has the opposite happened? They’ve opened a new shop here, only open from noon to 5 p.m. The thing is bursting at the seams, my mother was the queen. La Mamma here, la Mamma there! When they closed after five years because the landlord had other plans for the place, the two were showered with flowers and gifts. My mother said to me afterwards: This love, this affection, this attention – we have never had that in Hechingen in 40 years.
How great!
Yes. They love being in Cologne, with all their grandchildren, with us.
I would also like to have my parents with me. And my in-laws too. Oh, Giovanni, we have so much in common, it was nice with you! But I have one last question for you as a singer.
OK. Which?
What is the best love song of all time?
ohh That is hard. You first please
Understood. For me it’s “One” by U2.
Already very nice. But for me, of course, it has to be something Italian.
I would be disappointed if it were different. So?
“Se Bastasse Una Canzone” by Eros Ramazzotti. If there’s one song that could make love rain, it would be it.
Stephen Bartelsalways a companion and recorder of these conversations, just thinks that “Balu” by Kettcar is the best love song in the world.