Green flags with friends
These 5 signs tell you that a friendship is good for you
© Jacob Lund / Adobe Stock
Not only in love relationships, but also in friendships there are behaviors and patterns that can become toxic. These Green Flags show you that your girlfriend or boyfriend enriches your life and that you treat each other with respect.
We constantly read about green flags, red flags or beige flags when dating. So we now know what we should look out for in (potential) partners in order not to end up in problematic patterns, but in a loving relationship. But after all, a partnership isn’t the only important relationship. The relationship with family members and friends can also have a major impact on our quality of life.
And while we can’t choose relatives, but can limit contact at most, luckily we have the choice of our friends in our own hands. We tell you the signs that you are on the same wavelength with someone and that your friendship is balanced.
5 green flags in friendships: It’s good for me!
1. You look forward to meetings
As simple as it is important: when you have a date coming up, you can hardly wait to see your girlfriend or boyfriend. Even (or especially) after a hard day, an upcoming meeting is your ray of hope – and not another stress factor. However, if you dread going on a date with this person and secretly consider canceling it almost every time, then this should be a warning to you. Because friends should enrich our lives and we should enjoy the time with them.
2. You can be yourself
people are different. They have different needs, desires and characteristics. Fortunately, we don’t have to (and shouldn’t) only have people in our lives who are just like us. On the contrary, it can even be good for us to make our circle of friends diverse. The important thing is that we have the feeling that we can remain ourselves. For example, if a friend suggests that our (lack of) family planning and our job aspirations are not okay because she personally cannot understand them, something is wrong.
In a friendship we should be able to be ourselves and say what we think. Without being hurtful, of course, but a friendly relationship has to be able to handle the fact that we see things differently. If you can talk openly with someone about your feelings, thoughts, and plans without fear of their reaction, that’s definitely a green flag.
3. You feel fine after a meeting
There are people with whom a two-hour meeting feels like an eternity. They suck your energy like a vampire. For your well-being and your health, it is of course beneficial not to give such people more time than is absolutely necessary. And in a friendship, it’s a good sign when the opposite is true: you can chat and chat late into the night, and it feels like only a few minutes have passed.
Whether someone gives you energy or takes it from you doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with whether someone is a good or bad friend. Sometimes your energy levels just don’t (just) match, or you just don’t fit together. But if you always feel good after a date with someone, that’s a clear signal that they’re doing you good.
4. Communication is relaxed
You get excited every time a message from your friend arrives and can’t wait to read what he wrote? This speaks very well for the fact that you harmonize well with each other and, above all, can communicate openly and positively. If instead there are misunderstandings and you are downright dreading someone calling, that’s more of a red flag than a green flag. If arranging new meetings is just as relaxed as texting in which you simply exchange funny memes, and nobody has to worry that the other person will be offended or misinterpret something: That’s the way it has to be!
5. You want to tell her:him everything right away
Imagine that you have received an offer for your dream job or have finally booked the flights for your upcoming sabbatical. Or something bad happened, a quarrel or even a breakup. Who would you like to tell about it first? Your girlfriend ends up right after your partner and mom or dad on the list? This is definitely a green flag and a sign that your friendship is stable and healthy. If you can and want to share everything with each other, it shows how close you are.