here are the activities to prioritize

When sex is mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is usually the sexual encounter itself. However, according to specialists, sex is not just about penetration to enjoy a satisfying sex life. It’s important to know how to broaden the definition of what we think we know about intimate relationships to open up to a world of pleasure and that’s where Lawrence Siegel, sexologist and sexuality educator, comes in. He explains what This is non-penetrative sex called outercourse in English which involves various forms of sexual activities without any type of penetration being performed.

According to the professional, it is “a way to increase sexual passion and eroticism» in the couple before giving their own definition: “Any rubbing, touching, kissing, or caressing that does not involve any part of one body entering another. It can also involve mutual masturbation, scissoring…» On the other hand, he indicates that this type of practice differs from one person to another, some think that oral sex or fingering are not part of what we call overcourse while others do.

Non-penetrative and foreplay sex: is it different?

For many, when hearing the definition of what non-penetrative sex is, they mistakenly think that we are talking about foreplay. Yet even though foreplay can be considered part of the overcourse, it reinforces the idea that penetration remains the primary sexual act. What Lawrence Siegel wants to avoid. Indeed, even if these activities do not include penetration, they can be pleasurable and provide a more than satisfying sexual experience. A second sex educator, Chris Maxwell Rose, shares the same idea. He explains : “Outercourse can include any way we touch, lick, caress, stimulate and tease our body’s largest organ: the skin“.

Erotic massages, cuddling, spooning, or even open discussion of sexual fantasies are all sexual activities that allow “for partners to connect on a deeply personal level», Explains the expert. Outercourse is also beneficial for bringing a little spice to a more routine life as a couple. Generally, couples who have been together for many years rush their foreplay to get as quickly as possible to what they think is most important, penetration, yet outcourse can help break this repetitive pattern and allow you to borrow from new paths.

How to integrate this type of activity into your sex life?

As a first step, it’s important to think about your best sexual experiences, think about how you felt at that time and what you liked best. This will help you better build your desires: “For many, consistent themes make sex memorable and exciting. For some it might be the thrill of being desired, for others a feeling of shame, and for still others it is a power exchange“, explains one of the experts before adding: “Identifying your fundamental desire means discovering the genre of the novel you are writing. As the author, you can enrich this experience by incorporating elements that accentuate the specific emotions you want to explore.»

Don’t be afraid to talk about your experience with your partner and the different types of touch that can improve sex. Process this exploration and push to broaden your horizons: “Use massage and genital rubbing through clothing; sneak up behind your partner while they brush their teeth or do the dishes, times when they don’t expect it» advises the sexologist before adding: “Incorporate mutual masturbation into your sex play, with and without sex toys. Even simulated sexual intercourse, such as sliding a penis between a partner’s thighs, breasts or buttocks. This can be a wonderful starter to experiment with more different ways to please yourself and others. »

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