here is the #1 technique to help your children get through difficult times

A child often has difficulty managing his emotions. When something frustrates or displeases him, he will express it directly without taking the trouble to temper his reactions. American psychologists,Tammy Schamuhn And Tania Johnson, have implemented a technique based on the acronym HELP (help in French) which helps your child better manage their emotions and better understand difficult situations. This technique, exposed on CNBCis effective for all children, regardless of age, and is also beneficial for parents because it helps strengthen the parental bond with their children.

The processes of this technique are grouped into four points: the H for Halt refers to self-control, the E for Empathy refers to understanding and emotional security. The L of Limits designates respect and the P of Proximity defines the importance of parental presence during these bad moments.

H for Halt

Before reprimanding your child, it is important to understand the cause of his behavior. If you catch him hitting another child, ask yourself: “What is the reason?” Because a child is never violent without reason, it is essential to analyze his behavior in order to remedy it. According to the psychologists who developed this technique, a child’s way of acting is a reflection of a kind of communication; children often seek to convey to us what they feel through gestures. This often stems from frustration linked to an unmet need or an unacquired skill. It is therefore your duty as a parent to understand your child’s needs through his or her actions.

It is important to keep in mind that, unlike adults, it is complicated for a child to measure their feelings. In order to react correctly to this difficult moment, ask yourself: “Is my reaction a reasonable response to my child’s behavior?” The goal is to act with compassion and intention so that the child feels understood and understands that their frustration is valid but must be measured. If your child hits another child, show them that you understand their frustration and that it is legitimate but make them understand that their behavior is not acceptable.

E for Empathy

The goal is to make your child feel reassured and safe. Being empathetic means seeing the world as you see it and believing what it tells you. The key is to trust your child and not question his word so that he can feel understood. To do this, it is important to welcome your feelings and make them valid. Really listen to him by summarizing what he told you and clarify if necessary so that he feels listened to and notices your investment. So that your child can confide, it is important to establish a climate of trust. Don’t judge him and be patient, you should definitely not rush or interrupt a child who is speaking.

Your child’s discomfort is normal and should not be prevented. Don’t try to forbid him from crying, screaming or saying what he feels because this remains above all his main means of expression and it is what helps him to evacuate bad vibes. Accepting that your child is going through a bad phase can be difficult to understand as a parent. However, it is recommended to regulate your emotions and ask yourself whether your reaction to this difficult moment concerns you or your child.

L for Limits

In the event of a crisis, it is essential to establish limits so that your child’s reaction to something he or she dislikes does not become excessive. To do this, you must make him understand that he must adopt appropriate behavior and teach him to channel his emotions. Excessive anger in public cannot be tolerated and must be reprimanded. Even though each of his emotions is valid, that doesn’t mean he has to inflict it on others.

To do this, psychologists recommend imposing limits in three steps: validate your child’s emotion, let them know that their behavior is not acceptable and offer alternatives. By setting up these limits, it is completely acceptable to show him affection and closeness in order to reassure him and not develop a fear of rejection.

P for Proximity

For children to achieve self-regulation, it is important to co-regulate them first. Moving away from them when they are going through a difficult phase is not the solution because they will feel alone and rejected.

To calm them down, it is best to stay by their side to provide them with the necessary support. Very often, anger or frustration often gives way to sadness, this is when you need to establish contact with your child. By showing interest in them, this is the time that children choose to be the most authentic and confide. We should therefore never underestimate the power of physical presence.