How to be self-confident ?

Self-confidence refers to the feeling of confidence in one's abilities, qualities and judgment. And while some have it to spare, others are sorely lacking. Fortunately, boosting your ego can be learned! Here are 5 tips for building self-confidence.

In psychology, the self-confidence is a component of self-esteem – how an individual assesses their overall self-worth. It refers to the ability to recognize yourself to do "the right thing". Self-confidence promotes inner balance, more harmonious relationships, and greater personal fulfillment. Believing in yourself and in your abilities allows you to fulfill yourself and, in a virtuous circle, by assessing yourself at your true worth, to recognize and accept your limits. When you are confident in yourself, you are able to devote your resources to flourishing instead of wasting energy worrying and seeking reassurance. How to have or regain self-confidence? Here are 5 concrete tips to apply!

1. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is an enemy of self-fulfillment. It is, however, a human dynamic that manifests itself from childhood. And continues into adulthood: a comparison of our appearance, our social status, our material possessions, even our relationships. And let's be honest, social media doesn't have to be confidence boosters. Especially when you only follow models and travel bloggers. To start, already do a big cleaning on Instagram, Facebook, etc. Like Marie Kondo, ask yourself if this account brings you joy? Do you feel less confident in yourself after observing his photos? So, unsubscribe. It's drastic, but it works, I promise.
When you find yourself making comparisons, try to equalize the score in your head. If you are jealous of someone else's success, remember your own triumphs. Everyone leads their own race at their own pace and life is not a competition.

2. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is essential to have self-confidence. Make “self-care” – as it's often called – a priority. This English term encompasses everything you do to do yourself good. So yes, that includes doing a physical activity that you enjoy, maintaining a good sleep routine, eating a healthy diet, and more. It's also about being able to know when your resources are running out and to step back enough to save yourself. Taking care of yourself also means listening to yourself, allowing yourself to say no to certain things, focusing on yourself.

3. Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is about treating yourself with kindness and caring when you make a mistake, fail, or suffer a setback. Talking harshly to yourself won't motivate you to do better. In fact, studies show that it tends to have the opposite effect. A study published in 2009 in the Journal of Personality found that self-compassion contributes to more consistent self-confidence. Thinking 'Everyone's wrong sometimes' rather than 'I'm so stupid' or 'I messed it up' can help you feel better, even if you haven't been performing as well as you are. hoped.
Don't know where to start to practice self-compassion? It's simple: imagine the way you would talk to a friend. We are often much more kind, optimistic, and supportive with our friends and relatives than with ourselves. Whenever you are going through a difficult time, take a moment to think about how you would react with a loved one if they encountered a similar situation.

4. Keep a gratitude journal

The gratitude journal makes you feel good and build self-confidence. It is especially useful for those who tend to see the glass half empty. Treat yourself to a pretty notebook, which you'll enjoy opening every day to jot down the things for which you are grateful. For this to work, of course, you have to tackle it daily or at least regularly. Make this date so you can focus on what you have (not what you don't!), Be kind to yourself and others, and get to know yourself better. As you go through the pages, you will see that these gratitude lists help you cultivate a positive state of mind and regain confidence in yourself and your abilities!

5. Experiment with certain situations

When your brain tells you not to speak during a meeting, or you will never be able to do this exercise, remember that your thoughts are not always right. And sometimes the best way to deal with negative self-talk is to question those assertions.
Try to do those things that you think you can't do and see what happens. You will find that making a few mistakes or blushing is not as bad as you might think. And each time you can successfully face any of these situations, you improve your self-confidence.

Which books to have self-confidence?