How to dress for a funeral or burial?

What to wear to a funeral? After a death, the pain of having lost a loved one is sometimes compounded by the difficulty of choosing the right outfit, the right dress code, for a funeral or burial. Sometimes, the deceased person left instructions (his favorite color, white as a sign of hope…) but most of the time, we are left to ourselves with a difficult choice to make. For a long time it was easy to dress for a funeral. The funeral ceremony was very formal and black was required. Impossible to make the slightest sprain but it was also the assurance of not making a mistake.

But, in the 21st century, the codes have changed. The difficulty is precisely that there is no longer any rule enacted on the matter and that each one does a little as he wishes, and also according to the personality of the deceased. Strict or relaxed outfit, dark colors or more joyful… the choice is vast. How to decide? What style of dress should you choose? Outfits with bright or dark colors? Jewelry right? Are there any rules whether we are family, a relative or an acquaintance? Here are our tips for dressing for a funeral or burial. It is funeral insurance without misstep.

Black or dark: the choice of classicism

It’s a bit of the easy way out, but it’s also a way of showing respect to the deceased and keeping in the tradition. This primarily concerns the immediate family of the deceased, friends or colleagues, for example, can afford to wear clothes that are a little less formal. With a dress code based on the color black, you know that you do not risk the misstep (unless specifically instructed otherwise). We can nevertheless allow ourselves a few variations, such as navy blue or anthracite gray.

Based on this, men and women can choose a traditional, formal or more casual outfit. In general, we will try to choose a fairly classic style, out of respect during funeral orations. So here’s how to create a traditional dress code.

For men, we will preferably opt for:

• a long-sleeved shirt or a polo shirt (it maybe a little lighter, gray or white for example). Avoid the short-sleeved shirt or shirt.
• pants (black or dark gray). You can possibly opt for jeans if they are a little elegant (avoid the baggy shape, faded colors or jeans with snags).
• leather shoes (also dark) and a belt.
• a jacket (coordinated with the pants) or wear a sweater, a cardigan …
• the tie is not compulsory but choose it dark. And if it is not plain, prefer a tie without a pattern that is too cheerful or out of place.
• it is quite possible to opt for a costume for a formal ceremony or just out of a desire to show respect.

For women, different options are possible:

• a long, flowing dress or a knee-length dress with slightly dressy shoes or ankle boots. With a jacket of a slightly lighter color if the temperatures are a bit cool. Pantyhose or not to your preference.
• a dark skirt with a slightly lighter shirt, blouse or t-shirt. To associate with a small black or dark jacket, moccasins or ballerinas.
• dark pants with a lighter top (if possible a little dressy to emphasize the formal side of the funeral). Wear this outfit with a small jacket and a pair of stylish shoes.
• a suit (suit or pants) with a classic shirt – plain or with a fairly classic pattern – for a fairly formal and chic look.
• a black or dark combination. Choose it a little elegant, and avoid the playsuit, often unformal.
• jewelry is welcome as long as it is not too ostentatious. The purpose of the funeral is to honor the deceased, not to be noticed. Out of respect, opt for discreet jewelry.

You can also complete your funeral outfit with accessories: hat, sunglasses, bag for women… Each time, prefer rather sober accessories. And who do not swear with the clothes worn otherwise it is the assurance of wiping remarks. You might as well dress in a classic way.

How to avoid missteps in your outfit for a funeral?

The easiest thing is to stay under the radar. The outfit must therefore not stand out. And for that, the easiest way is to opt for a dark dress code, and to follow the following few tips:

• If the costume is not compulsory, we avoid outfits that are too “relaxed”: jogging, sneakers, gaudy colors visibly worn because we did not think that dark tones would be more appropriate … that’s it. ‘assurance of taking a remark or a few disapproving glances.
• Also to be banned: clearly visible logos or images and photos, garish prints. Remember, sobriety and classic style are essential.
• Avoid too plunging necklines. Likewise, skip shorts, mini-skirts and dresses that are too short. As a sign of respect for the deceased, opt for covering clothing.
• You should know that many religions advise covering knees and shoulders. This is why a jacket is suitable.
• Today, black is no longer mandatory but the colors must remain discreet. However, now acceptable funeral clothing is no longer limited to the darker colors. You can add colorful touches, without going to extremes (neon yellow T-shirt, pink skirt or orange jacket). Descent must remain in order.

And for children, what outfit for a funeral?

We tolerate a more relaxed outfit for young people. We will still avoid too flashy colors but a child can wear jeans (preferably dark but even blue it will be tolerated) with a plain and simple shirt or T-shirt. A classic navy or gray dress (black can be judged too harsh) is a good option as well. If the child has one, a costume for a funeral ceremony will also be a good option. But there is no need for a dress that is too staid in which the child or the teenager will feel uncomfortable. The funeral is already a painful moment to live, so do not add to it.

Where does this choice of black as the color of mourning come from?

The black – or at least the dark – is there to remind that the deceased will soon be nothing but dust or ashes after the funeral. This color also echoes the darkness in which the deceased is plunged, whether locked in a coffin and buried or simply because his eyes were closed one last time. It is therefore the color of mourning in Western countries and it is reflected in the outfits worn by family and loved ones during the funeral ceremony.

But this is not the case everywhere, far from it. Depending on the region of the world, certain colors are associated with mourning and death. Thus, in Asia, for funeral orations, we will opt for white in India and Vietnam. In China, a bright color will be added to the virginal color: red. White, symbol of death, which is associated with red (blood and pain). In Japan, to dress, we mix black and white (symbol of the dead person who turns into a body of light). In Iran, on the other hand, no funeral without a note of blue, the color of peace, in the clothes. Finally, some countries prefer other bright colors such as yellow. This is the case of Egypt and the Philippines which adopt this dress code during funerals. Why ? Yellow represents the sun in mourning.

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