Is your child afraid of the dark? 5 tips to help him overcome his fears

From the age of 3, it is common for children to feel uncomfortable when they are in the dark. Fear of monsters or simply the unknown, it is normal for your child to be frightened at nightfall because the darkness makes him lose all bearings. This fear generally appears when the child is able to stimulate his imagination and put into words what he feels. Childcare worker Emmanuelle Rigeade explains that this thought is called “magical thinking”: “It is the awareness of the imagination, which takes a very important place in their minds, much more than for us”, she indicates.

If this imagination is so present in the child’s mind at bedtime, it is because falling asleep corresponds to letting go and is the result of a separation between the child and his parents. It is therefore complicated for little ones to seek comfort when they find themselves alone in their bed facing their fears. To alleviate these fears and ensure that your child gets a good night’s sleep, there are many methods. Here are 5 tips to help him no longer fear the dark and fall asleep more peacefully.

1. Discuss the child’s fears

To allay fears, it is important to discuss them with your child and understand their origins. Force him to formalize what he feels so that he himself understands where this fear comes from. Psychologist Solène Ekizian believes in the media Huffpost that it is important to listen to his fears and make him understand that you are making his emotions legitimate: “We must validate with him the fact that he has the right to say it”, she explains.

It is therefore important to communicate with him and encourage him to confide. Telling a child “Don’t worry” or “Don’t be afraid” will not allow them to overcome their fears or find a solution to their discomfort. Instead, reassure him by demystifying the fear. If the child is afraid of bears, reassure him that bears only live in the forest and will only attack if they are bothered. You can also take him to a wildlife park to confront him with the animal in question and show him that he has nothing to fear.

2. Reassure him about his fears

Children’s fears can also come down to the environment around them. To do this, it is necessary to show him that he has nothing to fear by helping him identify the noises that frighten him. Noises in the house, which often seem amplified at nightfall, can be easily identified by the child. Make him understand that a wooden beam is likely to creak during the night without necessarily meaning that a monster is on it, or show him that the gurgling sounds in the wall are the result of water running through the walls. pipes when you flush the toilet.

By helping him demystify these noises that are harmless but seem terrifying in the middle of the night, you will help him rationalize his fears and make him understand that the noises he hears at night also occur in the middle of the day without him even realizing realizes it. Help him gain self-confidence by showing him that he is courageous on a daily basis, this will help him gain self-esteem and give him the impression of being able to face all his fears.

3. Defuse fear through imagination

Many specialists advise taking advantage of children’s vivid imagination to help them sweep fears from their minds. “For example, we can tell the child that we are giving him an anti-nightmare kiss or that we are going to put anti-fear pschitt – with water – in the room.”, advises Emmanuelle Rigeade. This reassures the child and gives him the impression that this “anti-fear water” (which you can make with essential oil to soothe his anxieties) is effective in repelling monsters and creatures of all kinds.

Assimilating a particular gesture or smell to the “anti-fear” repellent will allow him to be more easily reassured. The key is not to fall into the surreal because the goal is still to eradicate fears and not to make people believe in any magic.

4. Don’t let him sleep in complete darkness

The most used method is often not leaving your child in complete darkness so that he can see what is around him. For example, you can use the night light or leave the door ajar if none of the previous solutions work. But even if it is the most used method, it is not the most effective because it will not make you forget your child’s fears.

If the child insists on leaving the light on, warn him that you will turn it off when he falls asleep. It is important to warn him because if he wakes up in the middle of the night with the room plunged into darkness, this risks causing him anxiety, explains Solène Ekizian. In addition, sleep specialists do not recommend putting your child to sleep in a lit room because this is bad for melatonin secretion and falling asleep.

5. Read him a story before he goes to sleep

Reading a story to your child before going to sleep can help them drift off and think about something other than what’s frightening them. Choose light, comical stories that can clear his mind and calm him down.

Taking care of him, being attentive and being close to him before he falls asleep will allow the child to be reassured and to feel cared for. Because if he thinks you are far away from him, he risks panicking and being even more afraid.