If the direct victims of violence against women are always poorly, if not unprotected, the collateral victims are downright forgotten: children, as evidenced by feminicide survivor Laura Rapp, mother of little Alice.
Alice, 2 years old, cries, cries, throws herself to the ground, mimics choking gestures with her little hands. The same ones his father did when he tried to strangle his mother, Laura Rapp, one night in April 2018. This attempted feminicide, from which the 32-year-old only escaped by miracle , left two broken people: the mother and the child. Laura is alerting today to the lack of care and support despite the obvious trauma among these little ones who saw and heard the violence, and who sometimes directly suffered it, while they were still in the their mother's womb.
Violence also during pregnancy
The name-calling, psychological pressure and beatings Laura received increased when she was pregnant. "It's as if I belong to my spouse because of our child", she testifies. Her case is very far from being an exception: according to the thesis on conjugal violence, pregnancy and general medicine, published in 2012 and which is based on the work of the SOS Femmes association, 96% of the victims of violence questioned were brutalized during at least one of their pregnancies.
The explanation? Questioned by Magic Maman, Séverine Dagand-Berteau, clinical psychologist, analyzes that pregnancy breaks the "exclusive" link between father and mother, the unborn baby becoming a form of threat. Also interviewed by the site, Mathilde Delespine, midwife at the origin of a listening service for victims in Montreuil, recalls that "The pregnancy of his partner reactivates in man what he experienced in his childhood". Laura's ex-partner, she confirms, was himself a child witness, turned into a man who despises his mother and idealizes his father, yet the perpetrator.
To read also: "How Laura Rapp, survivor of an attempted feminicide, became a fighter"
These diagrams that we reproduce
With the development of epigenetics, a scientific discipline which shows the impact of the mother's environment on the development of the fetus, then the health of the future adult, we know the importance of protecting pregnant women from stress. And, a fortiori, violence. Research is also interested in the reproduction of models in children born to couples where the father mistreats the mother. As Slate recalls, in 2006 the Council of Europe produced a report to raise awareness among member states of the repercussions on the well-being of children. His observations: behavioral difficulties, as well as the risks of reproducing the family pattern, as a victim or an executioner.
Same opinion as that of the French Henrion report, delivered in 2001, in which we can read: "These children are likely to reproduce violence, the only model of communication they know, either in public places (at school, in the street), or in private (at home, in a future relationship) ". The authors also note that "in 10% of recorded cases, violence also affects children". Enough to produce chain domestic violence, transmitted from generation to generation. Laura says it is urgent to break this vicious circle.
When will a real care be taken?
That’s the big deal today: to protect Alice, Laura had to fend for herself. That is to say, seek support from doctors, child psychiatrists, victimologists, etc., who have diagnosed the girl, now 5 years old, with acute post-traumatic stress. Laura was also deprived of time with her: the time she had to spend going through the various court orders, preparing her defense with her lawyer. But also, to find a detective to have her ex-husband returned to detention, who had given a false address to the courts on his provisional release, but actually resided not far from her and Alice, the better to find them. During his period of freedom, the ex-spouse had been granted the right to see his daughter, despite the acts committed, through publicized visits. Alice's mother never submitted to this order, for the good of the little girl, but also for her survival. "When would a rape victim be asked 'Go see him again, give him your child'?", she explodes, thinking back to this ubiquitous situation.
It is therefore at the cost of a long struggle and despite the pressure of patriarchal institutions, which believe that an ultra-violent father is better than no father, that Laura obtained victory: to have the status of victim recognized for her daughter. , but also that the culprit, condemned to 8 years of prison, is stripped of his parental rights. A first step, before so many others: obtaining immediate and appropriate care for children, then support in rebuilding oneself outside the toxic model imposed by the executioner. For a year now, little Alice has finally managed to fall asleep at night, without the house around her having been barricaded.